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Vengance By Pie


Dec-14-2007 17:43

Part 1

Life has always been hard. I grew up a poor kid in the toughest parts of Brooklyn, with little much else to look forward to everyday, other than the sight of my father, coming home from work, for he was a police detective, and I knew in my heart that his everyday was spent helping people in desperate need. However, it all had to end one day...

My father had been innocently standing in line at the post office, when suddenly, a crazed clown who couldn't keep track the rising and lowering cost of postage stamps. Father was killed by a flurry of poisoned pies.

After my father died, I was determined to avenge my father, and pie, but mostly pie, by becoming a private detective, and hopefully one day hunt down the man who ordered the hit, and the hitman himself.

I took my training from one of my father's good detective friends. And so, as I set out from my newly bought headquarters, small office in downtown New York. As I set out, didn't realize the office was on fire from my stove...


Death Bredon
Death Bredon

Dec-28-2007 23:15

I was walking down the street when I smelled something burning... something that smelled like blueberries. And blueberries should never burn. I dashed up the narrow stairs toward the source... there was billowing smoke now, and the stench of scorched blueberries was terrible. I got to the top of the stairs. There was a brass plaque on a door that said "The Jester's Court" and when I touched it, I burned my finger. That door was hot!

I thought about going inside to put out the fire, but the only liquid I had on me was a flask of cognac in the pocket of my fine leather trench coat, and trying to put out a fire with VSOP didn't seem prudent, not to mention being an unpardonable waste of good cognac. As I stood hesitating outside the door, I heard footsteps coming up behind me on the stairs...


Dec-30-2007 00:34

As I balanced my life and my investment in the agency, trying to discern the more important of the two, I came to the conclusion that I could always rent another office, but I had only one life. So I drew my gun, and walked down the stairs...when I slipped on a a banana peel. I thought that it was most likely someone bad, so I fired in the general direction of the stairs. I could hear a bullet smash through what was human flesh. And so, what was probably a head concussion took me to the land of dreams, sugar plums, and evil fruit.

I woke up hours later. I gave myself a quick checkup, and I found no real injuries. I walked closer to the stairs, and found it to be a evil-looking clown. I searched his person, and found a paper that gave specific instructions on how I should die, and a receipt from Happy Killing Inc. for my murder. The instructions included some gruesome forms of torture, with one including a pair of knickerbockers and a milkshake. I wonder if this could be called justifiable homicide...


Jan-4-2008 00:36

I could not dwell on that. I did my best to hide the body, and burned the apartment. I walked down the street, not noticing that no one responded to the fire. That was weird. Ah, finally the boys in blue have fixed their wedgies long enough to get to a crime scene.


What? Why does no one care that there are gigantic purple dinosaur birds on the loose...
I sat back on my imaginary recliner and thought...


Jan-12-2008 11:16

This was not good. I must have somehow been transported to another dimension. I had to escape now, or they will notice me and then I'm dead meat.

Too late. As one of the cops spotted me, I ran! It was the fastest I ever ran! I resolved to retreat back to my office, since I had cop-proofed the place years ago, and even in this dimension, I had to have done it. As I crashed through my door, I also crashed into...guansun!? Yes, the paradox. I don't know which paradox, but it has to be one.

To be sure that the guy standing in front of me was actually me from another dimension(maybe I'll just call him guansun 2), I gave him a hard uppercut. He flew back, and then got up, with fists raised and saying"Oh, that's it buddy!" He rushed up and started flinging his arms blindly. I was able to hold him back by holding his head. I calmly explained to him that we were both the same person, except that I was from another dimension. He believed me.
That's when the cops knocked on the door.

Vampiric Smile
Vampiric Smile
Safety Officer

May-25-2008 11:18


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