Deborha Lee
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Aug-26-2007 05:07
My son and I are both Asperger's people. It is rare to find it in a female. It exists, but since females tend to be naturally more sociable, we are often misdiagnosed.
Anyhow, We've OFTEN had people take us wrong here on the boards, and everywhere else. LOL They seem to read-in anger or aggression where none was intended. We seem cold, calculating, exacting, and logical - but try to also be humorous at times, and even try to be empathetic to the best of our poor abilities. We have both tried very hard to work on these issues through the years, but have found that most people read and hear things the way the want - or so it seems to us. It seems that regardless which words we choose, we are often misinterpreted. I will grant you that I sometimes find-out later that the person is not a native speaker of English, which explains some cases.
We lack the intuitive ability to provide social cues. I have my good days where I remember what is expected, but we are both purely logical people. Too purely logical. This seems to negate social abilities to some extent. Your brain is busy saying, "does not compute" to be able to try to guess what was meant or to try to figure-out why someone has chosen the words they did. I'm sure we misread people, too. I think everyone does now and then. We try very hard to say what we mean and mean what we say - and to be very exacting in these endeavors, so as to increase the likelihood of successfully communicating with others.
So, my hint is: Please do not automatically read anger into posts and please be aware that not everyone thinks the same way. We will continue to try to do the same. People do get frustrated, especially when others do not seem to understand what they are saying, or when others say something that is illogical - on the level of pure logic, in the sense of the formal discipline of logic. Not what is commonly called logic.
Are there any others out there with a form of Autism? Or who experience something similar?
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Armitage Shanks
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Aug-28-2007 10:11
"I have an idea!", Armitage exclaimed half-seriously. He hesitated briefly to harden himself to the criticism his idea would get and wasn't expecting less than it to be taken as another bout of madness from his side.
"How about we all write our posts as parts of a novel or book?" he said with an honest smile on his face. "That way we can add a sort of tone to what we say and perhaps eliminate at least some of the misunderstandings that arise due to our communication in written word."
"Or we can keep in mind that we are indeed reading text that can easily be misinterpreted, and when we feel offended because of something we read on the boards we can pause before replying and consider whether or not we really believe the poster means any offence or *is* indeed trying to be rude against someone else that the person most likely don't know and so wouldn't have any reason to attack on purpose unless he or she belonged to the 3 % of all men or 1 % of all women who are suffering from sociopathic personality disorder or some similar disorder, and if we really care to understand we can ask the person to clarify what they meant or, if we don't, ignore the post altogether."
Armitage scratched his goatee thoughtfully, then shrugged and logged off.
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