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Asperger's people and socializing - are there others?
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Deborha Lee
Deborha Lee

Aug-26-2007 05:07

My son and I are both Asperger's people. It is rare to find it in a female. It exists, but since females tend to be naturally more sociable, we are often misdiagnosed.

Anyhow, We've OFTEN had people take us wrong here on the boards, and everywhere else. LOL They seem to read-in anger or aggression where none was intended. We seem cold, calculating, exacting, and logical - but try to also be humorous at times, and even try to be empathetic to the best of our poor abilities. We have both tried very hard to work on these issues through the years, but have found that most people read and hear things the way the want - or so it seems to us. It seems that regardless which words we choose, we are often misinterpreted. I will grant you that I sometimes find-out later that the person is not a native speaker of English, which explains some cases.

We lack the intuitive ability to provide social cues. I have my good days where I remember what is expected, but we are both purely logical people. Too purely logical. This seems to negate social abilities to some extent. Your brain is busy saying, "does not compute" to be able to try to guess what was meant or to try to figure-out why someone has chosen the words they did. I'm sure we misread people, too. I think everyone does now and then. We try very hard to say what we mean and mean what we say - and to be very exacting in these endeavors, so as to increase the likelihood of successfully communicating with others.

So, my hint is: Please do not automatically read anger into posts and please be aware that not everyone thinks the same way. We will continue to try to do the same. People do get frustrated, especially when others do not seem to understand what they are saying, or when others say something that is illogical - on the level of pure logic, in the sense of the formal discipline of logic. Not what is commonly called logic.

Are there any others out there with a form of Autism? Or who experience something similar?

Replies

Charlotte Montgomery
Charlotte Montgomery

Aug-26-2007 18:45

Totally, I'm there for you even though I don't know much about it. I'm kind of confuse and I kind of think I can understand what you are going through. In my school, there is a boy that has something ( I'm not sure about what he has excatly). Anyway, I feel bad when people make fun of him. Now, I'm not entirely sure I am making sense here...I'm just trying to help. I hope no one yells at me for not making sense. Anyway, Deborha, just to let you know that you can always mail me. Besides, I'm looking for friends. I maybe young, but I understand people. :)

Stooby
Stooby
Well-Connected

Aug-27-2007 00:38

Where are you from the Deborha? (Lazy of me - I should google that!).

Whilst I'm not a labeller I do beleive in recogntion of people's needs in order for them to get the right support.

I'm a big beleiver that everyone has the same rights of access to all aspects of their community and that often invloves recognising the diversity in people and treating people differently to give them the support they need.

I'd forgoten all about hyperlexia though!

On Anikka's comments about written word loosing tone and meaning there's a few posts about that in Sleuth talk at the moment! But some learning disabilities also result in people having exactly the same problem with spoken language (some forms of autism for example) and people then can't appreciate tone or body language or facial expressions and take everything literaly.

Lady Jas
Lady Jas
The Chosen One

Aug-27-2007 00:49

Most all of the ASD spectrum has to deal with your cerebellum and how it functions differently than ours, making factial expressions, emotions, communication, etc that much harder for many of these people.

I commend you Deborah for not being afraid to speak up about this, and if there is anything I can help or assist you in please feel free to ask.

yoyofoshow
yoyofoshow
Old Shoe

Aug-27-2007 02:24

While I don't know about the ASD spectrum or the cerebellum, I have volunteered at a place around here last year working with children with Aspergers syndrome and other conditions.

Armitage Shanks
Armitage Shanks

Aug-28-2007 10:11

"I have an idea!", Armitage exclaimed half-seriously. He hesitated briefly to harden himself to the criticism his idea would get and wasn't expecting less than it to be taken as another bout of madness from his side.

"How about we all write our posts as parts of a novel or book?" he said with an honest smile on his face. "That way we can add a sort of tone to what we say and perhaps eliminate at least some of the misunderstandings that arise due to our communication in written word."

"Or we can keep in mind that we are indeed reading text that can easily be misinterpreted, and when we feel offended because of something we read on the boards we can pause before replying and consider whether or not we really believe the poster means any offence or *is* indeed trying to be rude against someone else that the person most likely don't know and so wouldn't have any reason to attack on purpose unless he or she belonged to the 3 % of all men or 1 % of all women who are suffering from sociopathic personality disorder or some similar disorder, and if we really care to understand we can ask the person to clarify what they meant or, if we don't, ignore the post altogether."

Armitage scratched his goatee thoughtfully, then shrugged and logged off.

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