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Your wish is my command
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BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:01

Your wish is my command. Allan Lardin felt quite relaxed as he was seated in his comfortable leather armchair. He whispered these words again.....your wish is my command. As far as he could remember no one ever told him that before. He just liked the sound of it. Imagine everyone would reply to you like that. Like the cop that wants to book you for speeding. Officer, could you do me a favor and tear up what you are just writing? Yes sir, your wish is my command. You walk into the office of your boss and demand an instant raise of salary. Well, yeah, sure Mr. Lardin, YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND.

Allan Lardin is 41 and senior editor of a publishing company. He’s lucky enough he can walk the distance every day from his office to his home. That is if he isn’t working at home. Allan loves to take his time while he’s walking his way back home. He’ll always make sure to eat a sandwich at a bench in the park or hang around for a while at the newspaper stand where you can buy that delicious hazelnut flavoured coffee for less than a dollar. It has an awarding effect on him to see how everyone seems to be in a rush and always running out of time while he can take it easy before deadlines are getting too close. Like something he has earned. Besides that, no one will be waiting for him to come home either. That’s how it has always been, even when he was a child. With no intention to buy anything at all Allan felt like blending in with the crowd at the little market place. There’s a market every Friday. He always wondered why not on a Saturday or Sunday. Then again what other excuses would there be left for unsatisfied housewives to leave home without the neighbours becoming too suspicious. Oh please do shut up, he hears himself muttering. Most of the market stands he wasn’t really interested in unless he had one of his candy moods.

Replies

BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:11

The document was titled “Execution of Will” and what really seemed absurd was that it wasn’t even typed but all written in a curly handwriting! Underneath the title the following lines were written. I, Allan Lardin, born February 5th 1966, hereby state and confirm that I demand the execution of three of my wishes and that this execution will take place immediately after I signed this document. By signing I fully declare that I was in a state of full consciousness and aware of all the implications that might come forth after I made my wishes. I also declare that this agreement was made by my free will and that no action was used to force me into accepting the terms and conditions that I agreed upon. Gene.....either you are a very elaborate scam artist or you are a very deluded individual whose mind is trapped in some twisted virtual reality. I regret the fact I was so much denying all my common sense to let you in my house but now it’s really time you take a hike. Very eloquently said, Allan, as always. But before you decide to indulge in your further ranting I want you to consider this. Gene Satious was pointing his finger to the fireplace. Allan became painfully aware of the fact that there was a monstrous and evil alliance between that damn oil lamp and this clown in a $ 1,000 suit. I take it Allan that you still didn’t have time to translate those inscriptions. But holding that against you would be petty and smallminded indeed. Let me enlighten you by saying that those words are written in Farsi, a Persian language. ش...ا پيش ان اوردن خواستن حرف گفت. جن حرف ...يان بيشر.... عدد.. In plain English it means “One audacious among the jinn said: I will bring it to you before you rise up from your place, and most surely I am strong and trusty for it”. Thanks for sharing that with me but it still doesn’t make any sense. Allan’s nerves were really probed now. Relax my friend and see this as an interesting plot unfolding.

BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:12

. The line I just translated can be found in the Quran. More specifically it’s verse 39 of the Sura named An-Naml or The Ants. It’s a reply to a request by King Solomon who demanded to bring him a throne that would be suitable for the Queen of Sheba. By the ring that carried his seal King Solomon was given power over all the jinns.

How would YOU know all about this? And now that I come to think about it......what’s your connection with this oil lamp anyway? Are you in cahoots with the guy who sold me that piece of junk? Gene Satious was still sitting in his chair and everything indicated that he had no intention to leave. For the first time he was smirking which made Allan furious and intimidated at the same time. I’m afraid it’s going to take more than an hour to explain it to you when you let your temper take over the more rational part of you. It never ceases to amaze me how people react when you offer them to make their wishes come true. You still don’t get it do you Allan? By polishing that oil lamp you unleashed forces that have been slumbering for ages. Go ahead and take a close look at your so despised little trinket and tell me what you see. Cursing the fact that his sharp edged wit failed him so badly that day at the market, Allan stepped forward and examined that object of which he rapidly got convinced it was truly cursed. He couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw something had changed about the inscriptions. It seemed like they were glowing as if there was a candle inside that lamp. The curly symbols were going from red to orange to yellow and back to red. After a brief hesitation he put his hands around the lamp but it felt cold as always. A beginning of despair was visible in Allan’s eyes when he turned back to Gene. Gene. Genie. It’s rather uncomforting when you experience that your Cartesian mind can’t account for everything isn’t it Lardin? The tormented editor tried to sound as calm as he possibly could. Please, leave my house.

BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:13

Gene the genie lit a cigarette in the meantime and was blowing perfect circles of fume like they were little halos. Would that be your first wish then? Such a waste....if you think about what you forsaked for that one simple request. I’m talking about desires such as wealth, fame, talent, eternal admiration and fulfilment of all your lusty needs. By the way, are you into fiction or perhaps you prefer non-fiction after all?

I guess I always valued the creativity of fiction over the more informative nature of non-fiction even though creative non-fiction is an existing literary genre. Which doesn’t mean I believe in fairy tales. Of course you don’t, you’re much too empirical for that right? The sacred alliance between knowledge and perception! But what if we perceive something that indeed occurred but can’t be invoked repeatedly and therefore can’t be considered to be a proven fact? Or do you truly believe that legends and fairy tales came out of nothing? I’ve heard those kind of arguments before. Allan felt relieved in an awkward way that he found himself back in more common ground. Our perceptions can be misguided or stories become more and more modified as they are passed over several generations. And a lot of these stories actually contain disguised criticism or serve metaphorical or allegorical purposes. What you’re saying can’t be completely denounced dear Allan, but really, is that the best you can do? I agree that your statements can be fully applied when we talk about Godzilla or King Kong. But how do you explain the mysterious disappearance of the crew of the Mary Celeste? It was Allan’s turn to smirk now. The Mary Celeste. Or the Amazon as it was originally named. One of the so many ghost ship stories. Heavily romanticized and mystified by authors such as Arthur Conan Doyle. But the simple facts tell something quite different. You see, during it’s last voyage the ship was containing a cargo of industrial alcohol.

BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:14

When the Mary Celeste was found in December 1872 by the crew of the Dei Gratie they found that the lifeboats had been launched and that several important items such as the sextant, the chronometer and all the ship’s documents were missing. Except for the captain’s logbook. The compass appeared to be destroyed and the forehatch and lazarette were both open. The cargo of over 1700 barrels of alcohol was still intact but later it was examined that nine barrels were empty. The last log entry was written eleven days before the ship was found. In early 1873 two lifeboats were reported grounded in Spain. One had the American flag and a dead body and the other one contained five dead bodies. If we assume that nine barrels of alcohol were leaking that would have caused an alarming build up of vapour in the hold as you may well imagine. In those circumstances captain Briggs may well have ordered to immediately abandon the ship and the ignition of the vapours most likely caused an explosion strong enough to severely damage a part of the ship. The crew apparently had no time to take all the necessary measurements for survival as a six month supply of food was found aboard. All this makes it very plausible that they must have died in their lifeboats starving from hunger and thirst. Moreover a storm was reported in that area shortly after the vessel was abandoned. There you go Gene, another myth that has been torpedoed by empirical missiles.

I’m very impressed Allan. Your arguments are backed up by profound factual knowledge and I’m sure you fully deserve your status as an intellectual. I knew I wasn’t dealing with an idiot. Having a debate with a well-educated man is one of the things I very much like to indulge in. For someone who appreciates fiction you’re not doing bad on the hard solid facts I must say. True, Allan admitted, but I happen to have a great admiration for fiction that could pass for reality.

BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:15

Mark Twain once said that the difference between fiction and non-fiction is that fiction has to be believable. Oh! I simply love to paraphrase the great minds of history Allan. How do you like this one from George Bernard Shaw? Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will. Exactly, Allan replied, that principle may very well be the case in most legends and sagas even though I assume George Bernard Shaw meant something else by that. Very cunning, but let’s not forget that Heinrich Schliemann was considered a mythomaniac before he discovered the ruins of Troy. Alright now, wise guy, you did really good on the Mary Celeste but let me see how you tackle this one. Did you ever hear of the Hutchison Effect? I have to shamefully admit I’m totally unfamiliar with this mysterious effect but I’m all ears. Very well then. In 1979 a guy named John Hutchison accidentally registered a series of phenomena while studying electromagnetic longitudinal waves. Hutchison noticed that certain odd reactions took place when radio waves interfered with places that have a high voltage source such as a generator or an electromagnetic coil. Such weird phenomena were the levitation of heavy objects like a 60 lbs. canon ball or the fusion of dissimilar materials such as wood and iron. The list goes on. Hutchison reported the heating of metals without a burning source and spontaneous fracturing of metals. The fusion of dissimilar materials in particular is very baffling as it was shown that these materials can “come together” but individually they do not dissolve. In other words, a wooden block could sink into a metal bar but doesn’t become one with it. And I suggest you let this sink into your mind buddy. If you think that’s the only mindblowing rarity I can come up with, just watch what I let slip out of my sleeve now. I’m talking about spontaneous human combustion.

BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:16

Spontaneous human combustion eh? Oh c’mon, gimme a break now. Well, Allan, let’s see what the simple facts tell us shall we? There is the very appalling case of a Mary Reeser from St.-Petersburg, Florida who was found dead in her apartment in July 1951. Her landlady was the first to ring the alarm bell as she felt that the doorknob to her apartment felt uncomfortably warm. The remains of Mary Reeser consisted mostly of ashes except for a part of her left foot that was still wearing a slipper. The chair she was sitting on was also cindered and plastic objects in her immediate vicinity lost their shape and were softened. The most intriguing evidence that was left was her skull that survived the fire but was shrunk to the size of an orange. The fact that her body had been totally cremated would imply that very high temperatures must have been at work but that’s a contradiction with the state of her apartment. The case was eventually classified by the FBI with the conclusion that she used sleeping pills and must have fallen asleep while smoking a cigarette. How convenient though that the rest of the apartment didn’t burn out, eh Allan? And do you think that explains the shrunken skull? An equally symmetrically shrunken skull? To the size of an orange??? And she’s not the only case you know. I say we have a situation here with which Ockam’s razor has a hard time to shred it into pieces. Allan felt his initial irritation coming back. So, you’re supposed to be a genie? Gene never seems to loose his calm which also largely contributed to Allan’s anxiety. Well, you’ll find out after you gave me your three wishes. I see you still didn’t sign that form. Right, actually I think it’s absurd to come up with such a formality considering you claim to possess such great powers. You really are a piece of work you know that Allan? Most people are just happy with the chance that they see three of their wishes come out but you just keep picking on all those details.

BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:19

Signing this form Allan, is the ultimate proof that you act out of free will. What if my free will tells me not to sign it? Hahaha! I was wondering what kept you so long. I can’t make you wish your wishes but that would be a very undesirable situation for both of us. When you invoked me it brought a duty upon me to carry out your command. I can’t release myself from that until your death. Which means I’ll have to constantly bother you and ask over and over what your wishes are.

And what if I wished you wouldn’t bother me? Besides the fact that this seems like a waste I can’t answer that question for you as I’m bound to certain laws. Interesting....very well then, I reckon I wouldn’t be doing any harm to myself by signing a document that would be considered ludicrous in any courtroom. I’m glad we have this over with so now let’s get to your wishes. Most people don’t surprise me with what they wish for but still....I’m always looking forward to what they come up with. I see it is an interesting reflection of one’s personality. Oh really. In that case I’ll probably disappoint you with my first wish but I have the need to feel secure over certain aspects in my life. Financially that is. The face of the genie didn’t show any notable expression. Well then......my first wish would be to have a buckload of money. I assume you mean a large quantity of money. Could you be a bit more specific there? I’ll probably won’t be able to spend it all but what the heck! I want to know what it’s like to swim in money. I want to indulge in decadent hedonism. Ten million dollar will do pal, if you please. By all means.....your wish is my command. For a while Allan and his guest were sitting across each other. Allan was becoming restless as nothing seemed to happen. So??? Where on earth is that money? Relax buddy, it’s still piling up. I don’t see it! Upstairs in your bedroom where you left your wallet. Allan stood up and rushed to see the miracle happen.

BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:20

When he was halfway up the stairs he heard an increasingly loud noise of tinkling of metal like there was a fountain that kept spitting coins at an insane speed. He was completely taken by surprise when he was caught in a wave of nickels and dimes that flooded over the stairs and wiped him of his feet. Struggling to get up again he got hit by a new wave of coins that were poured down. Several minutes later the monetary tsunami was halted. Allan was lying on the ground, still heavily breathing. Most of his living room as well as the kitchen and all of the stairs were covered with piles of coins and he could only imagine how the upper floor must look like.

He turned around to the direction where Gene Satious was seated, looking impeccable and with his hands folded over his belly. Allan’s eyes were wide-opened and there was a bit of drool coming out of the corner of his mouth. YOU GODFORSAKEN IMBECILE!!!!! Finding himself in a rage Allan grabbed the collar of Gene’s jacket when he felt an iron grip around his wrist. Dammit man! You’re hurting me! Let go! Allan was pushed to the adjacent chair with such a might that he landed after a split second. His head got knocked against the wooden rim and he lost his conscience for a while. When he woke up he still felt dizzy. This feeling was pushed aside very abruptly as a new sensation revealed itself to him. A most penetrating and foul stench filled his nose and it became more and more unbearable by the second. Allan couldn’t decide if it was the smell of rotten fish or burned rubber that tried to dominate over each other. His heart froze when he saw the dark posture sitting across the other side of the table. Glad to have you back amongst the living but perhaps you will do a better job now to get a hold over your temper? I might be godforsaken but I’m certainly not an imbecile. Let this be a lesson for you to carefully consider and formulate what you wish for.

BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:21

The thing sounded like Gene but that was about the only thing that reminded Allan about how he used to be like. His whole skin was coloured in a dark muddy brown and his mouth and nose were stretched forward like it was the snout of a baboon. His fingers were long and thin and got such long dirty nails like they were closer to being claws then hands. His head and shoulders were covered with thick bushy hair that didn’t seem human at all. The belly seemed to be made of leather and transformed into an armoured plate that covered his chest. The most creepy feature however were the eyes. They had no lids and reminded him very much of the eyes of a cat except that they didn’t look wild as an animal but where indeed intelligent and bright. For the love of God, what are you?! I’m the genie of the lamp Allan. But if you prefer a more scientific description you can always refer to me as an unclassified species I suppose. Serious now, I’m a jinn and not just any type of jinn. I’m an ifrit which means I’m in control over nine powers of magic. Like every other jinn I’m an elemental creature who’s in control over the element of fire. I can make volcanoes erupt merely by my willpower. Aside from this tremendous force I have the power of materialization, dematerialization, illusion, immortality, transformation, invisibility, mind control and forecasting.

As impressive as these forces may seem I’m not a free creature and I have to abide by the curse that has been set upon me centuries ago after I stole the jewels from the Temple of Solomon. I prefer not to elaborate in those painful memories. I just want you to know that I truly love my freedom and that this servitude that is forced upon me marks me as a burning chain around my neck. So hurry up with your next two wishes so that we have this over with and I can commence my slumbering again till the next idiot summons me. Those nickels and dimes.....will they be of any use?

BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:22

I mean what kind of bank would ever agree to exchange that pile of coins into bank notes? I’m pretty sure that the US Mint will have to accept those coins but I can’t guarantee you that you won’t draw any publicity on you. Not to mention the fact that you probably will have to explain how this vast amount of coins ever came to your possession. Oh blast......I guess you’re right about that. The sensible thing would probably be to wish for these coins to be exchanged into $ 100 notes.....eh, US $ that is. Is that your second wish? Yeah, you foul stinking creature. You really suckered me in there but it’s my second wish. The piles of coins quickly transformed into stacks of dollar notes. They only occupied a fraction of the space that was taken by the coins but the amount of money still looked very impressive. Congratulations, you’re rich. Again! One more wish remaining, Allan, so think about it carefully. Isn’t it uncanny though how hard it can be to know what you really want? Allan had to admit to that. How much time do I have before I can come up with my next wish? Very smart question Allan. Take a look outside and tell me how long it takes before sunset. Sunset??? Wait a minute....I believe you told me that you were only released from your duty till I die! True....but that would have been the case if you didn’t come up with any wish at all. I already granted two of your wishes and if you can’t come up with another wish, well.....that’s beyond my control isn’t it? Keep thinking Lardin, I’m sure something will come to mind. Can I wish for something such as immortality? I’m afraid not. Just as you can’t wish to be an angel or a sorcerer. I can’t alter the state or nature of your being. I can only provide you the goods or gifts that are within the reach of your human capacities. I can make your looks more attractive, or make an athlete out of you or a nuclear physicist because those are achievements inherent to the human race.



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