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Sep-15-2006 02:30

This is a very simple and fun game. The first person makes a wish, and each following person finds some way to corrupt the wish and then makes a new wish. For example:

Person 1. I wish I had a dog

Person 2. You have a dog, but it dies the day after you get it

I wish I had a muffin

Person 3: You get a muffin, but you drop it and have to throw it away.

And so on.

Your firt wish to corrupt is this:

I wish I had a new car.

Dec-26-2009 12:53

You carve the turkey and it slices beautifully--something's gone right! You pass the plates around, get yours at last, toast everyone, and take a bite of the turkey. Wait a minute! It tastes suspiciously like fish. Couldn't be. You try another bite. Yep, there is something distinctly fishy about your turkey (in both senses of the word). Guess it won't matter that you didn't have cranberry sauce after all. You tell the kids to appreciate what they have and eat their dinner. Somehow you manage to get it down. Ahh, dessert! You bite into a forkful of the cake and find out, the chef probably had a little too much at the Christmas party and was definitely a little tipsy with the powdered coffee. It's on the top of the cake instead of cocoa AND it's on top of each layer of lady fingers. Great, dessert makes you pucker and not in the way it's supposed to. You call an end to dinner and tell the kids that since they're going to grandma's tomorrow, they can open up the presents from mom and dad and from the out-of-town relatives tonight. Yay! Santa's will have to wait until you get home. Augh!

You hear about the kids' wish list after they opened their presents... ('A sweater with a big bird on it! I'll get beat up!' 'Barbie??? I wanted Legos!') The wife gives you the eye at her gift and it's not the come-hither invitation you had hoped for. The gifts from the relatives back east would've saved your butt (and your reputation as a cool dad) except for one problem. They open the packing box and find a slip of paper: "Rerouted to Poland. To be delivered in August."

You tell the kids and the wife that they should remember the real meaning of Christmas and that you are ALL bundling up and going to church for the Christmas Eve service. You do so and arrive at your church to find that it's burned to the ground and all that's left is a sign. It tells you 'Merry Christmas' and that the church has relocated its services to a pizza parlor across town. Great. Absolutely fabulous. There is no way you are slogging your way there after everything else that's

Dec-26-2009 12:54

happened. You turn around and go home.

The kids disappear to play with last year's toys; the wife gives you the cold shoulder, literally. You sit alone in solitary splendor in front of your Charlie-Brown Christmas tree, drinking a truly unusual Bordeaux. Oh well, there's always next year.

P.S. to Sir William: All of the above (with the exception of the big bird sweater) have happened to me during the holidays, admittedly not all on the same day. So enjoy your Christmas and try to make the best of it!

Dec-26-2009 12:55

I wish I could walk in my pointed toe elf shoes!

Dec-29-2009 11:59

Ka-Poof! The Fairy Godmother grants your wish. You wake up wearing your pointed toe elf shoes. After a fun-filled day of playing with elf shoes, you decide to take them off. But wait... they won't come off. Trying again, you tug so hard that you knock the shoe cabinet over. Sadly, the last solution is to saw your legs off... Oops! Too late. That is one mess. You better ask the Fairy Godmother for a new carpet too...

I wish I had more Polo mints.

Dec-29-2009 14:10

There came from the brazen lungs of the clock a sound which was clear and loud and deep and exceedingly musical, but of so peculiar a note and emphasis that, at each lapse of an hour, the musicians of the orchestra were constrained to pause, momentarily, in their performance, to hearken to the sound of a gravel truck backing up to the side of your house. Bam Margera and Johny Knoxville have taken the liberty of installing a skylight in your living room with nothing but sledge hammers. Even as I speak, approximately 20 tons of the delectable candies of your request are now filling all of the emptiness of your household!

I wish real life was a lot more fun and easy.

Jan-2-2010 05:02

Poof! Luc's fairy Godmother has decided to make life easier! Gas prices fall drastically as you strike oil in your back garden! You go to the nearby supermarket, where you get every thing half price and a free trampoline with every loaf of bread! The next day however, you try out the trampoline. It is so good you hit the ceiling with a thud. But it was so "easy" that it gives way. Remember that sofa you put in the attic last week? It comes crashing down on you and into the cellar. Maybe you shouldn't have put the tent poles vertically in the cellar. At least it's "easy" to dial 999. Now wasn't that fun?

I wish I had a laptop.

Feb-4-2010 22:00

You get your laptop, but for a bad price. You pay $67 without even thinking about it. You take it home and to find it has a virus. To make matters worse, Mr. William, you take it too a computer nerd who can fix any computer virus. Except this one. This virus, is one that has been created to make the computer crash. This computer geek, tries to fix it but only downloads it on to every computer in the U.S. When the government found out what computer the virus came from, they came after you. Now you have been put in a prison that is more secure than Guantanamo Bay, Cuba all because you didn't think that $67 is too cheap for a laptop.


I wish that I had the equipment to build my own custom bass guitar

Feb-5-2010 01:11

You do. Without me corrupting it, you do. There, in your toaster, rip out this... *ripping noise* ...and take that out of your washing machine... *sound of when someone splits open a washing machine* ...and some of the wires from your radio... *crash of wrench hitting radio* ...and some springs from your bed... *yet more wrecking sounds* ... and your best suit... *tearing noises* ...and voila! A bass guitar costume! Or did you say custom? Well you just need your computer split in half to get at these... what? You don't fancy all the trouble? Oh, I needn't put it back together for you then! Bye!

I wish I had more time.

Feb-19-2010 05:53

You do. You are now the proud owner of about 2500 watches, which are all forced to be worn on your left hand, but the weight prevents you from never moving it again...

I wish I pass my upcoming exams in April-May.

Feb-19-2010 10:57

You pass them on your way to hospital after your lips are caught in a sewing machine and an axe accidentally(axeidentally...) hits you in the leg. Unfortunately, you cannot take the test because all the spare test papers were burnt to celebrate the 13th of May, now a national holiday because the inventor of the time machine was born and came back to tell us to celebrate it or he'll kill George Washington when HE gets born. So you get no percent(null, zippo, zilch, nothing) since you were in hospital for longer after it was discovered that the axe was covered in gangrene and they had to OPERATE!! Then it turned out the surgeon had a criminal record(ridden with malpractice accusations) and he cut off the wrong leg. The infection spread so much that you had to be chopped off at the waist. The new surgeon then FORGETS the anesthetic gas. You recover in time to retake the test next year, having failed this year. You get to learn all that stuff all over again! At least you get a thorough education...

I wish for a cheese sandwich.