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Corrupt A Wish
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Bill Oakes
Bill Oakes

Sep-15-2006 02:30

This is a very simple and fun game. The first person makes a wish, and each following person finds some way to corrupt the wish and then makes a new wish. For example:

Person 1. I wish I had a dog

Person 2. You have a dog, but it dies the day after you get it

I wish I had a muffin

Person 3: You get a muffin, but you drop it and have to throw it away.

And so on.

Your firt wish to corrupt is this:

I wish I had a new car.

Replies

Sara Lou
Sara Lou

Feb-21-2009 18:21

Bam! You're French! Ah, to be French!! Tis a wonderful thing. You lie on waxed paper, basking in the sunlight of an outdoor cafe. Wonderful. But, holy crap, why are you on waxed paper? You try to look around, but, gasp, you're limp as a soggy... OH NO! You're as limp as a soggy French Fry, because, in fact, you ARE a soggy French FRY!!

I wish I had the ability to ski-doo like Blue. (Ya know, "Blue Ski-doo, we can too!!!)

luc pfeiffer
luc pfeiffer
Red-Nosed

Mar-19-2009 22:14

I've been hoping that someone would come along, rescue me and tell me what this Blue is. Since no one has seen fit to throw me a bone, as it were, I'm going to assume that the Blue that Security is referring to is the hound dog on the PBS reading program and go sniffing along with that. So here goes, howl along with me as you read...

Having searched NUMEROUS pet shops and dog breeders and been unable to find anything near as cute, cuddly and aqua as that animated wonder created by PBS, you write to, you guessed it, PBS and ask to borrow their wonderful, inspirational, always-ready-with-a-rhyme singing pooch. Sadly, someone purporting to be a producer from the show phones you back, asking where you get the nerve to make off with their tune-warbling wonder and telling you that if you so much as send your hero a postcard of fan mail, they will sic the corporate lawyers on you so fast, you will find yourself wishing you were a kitty cat up a tree waiting in vain for the fire department.

Ok, so you tried the rule-abiding approach; now we go for the nefarious, thoroughly illegal and highly dangerous route. You hop a plane to Hollywood, clamber over the fence at Disney Studios, and (having brought a good ten pounds of prime steak), make off with Fang from the Harry Potter films. He's a little bigger than you'd wanted, his coat's not quite the right shade of blue, he's a coward and he doesn't sing worth beans, or in his case, dog biscuits.

Not to worry. You bundle him into your VW Bug (he takes up BOTH the back seats and the passenger seat), stop at a Vons' for a side of beef to stick under the hood, and hit the road for home. Oh, and first you stop at a seedy hair-stylist for a lengthy appointment with a hair-dye specialist. Success! You spend the next three days winging your way home and attempting to teach your new pet how to belt out those tunes like Sinatra, or in his case, Blue.

luc pfeiffer
luc pfeiffer
Red-Nosed

Mar-19-2009 22:25

Unfortunately, no matter how many steaks you sneak him or how many oldies you trill to him, he still sounds like a tone-deaf mutt who just comes up flat (pun intended). Even worse, by the time you get home, word has spread (yep those PBS fiends gave you up) and an even worse set of corporate lawyers are camped out on your doorstep, staring at you as you drive up. (Maybe Dumbo and the U.S. Navy will come distract them while you make your get-away.) Nope. No such luck. You're nailed.

You spend the next 15 years in a secure facility, with no ability to send out letters to your idol. The good news is that since you have unlimited tv priviledges, you can drool over that cute little blue cartoon til the cows come home. The bad news is, your fellow cell mates feel that you are rotting their brain cells faster than if you were addicted to that Barney thing. And they take it out on you at daily intervals. Oh by the way, Disney sent you a bill too, for $25,000 to dye their dog back to his original hue. Have fun paying that off at $1.25 an hour. Cheers!

I wish someone else would come over to kill that spider the next time that Breitkat finds one.

Akemo
Akemo
Well-Connected

Mar-21-2009 12:59

sorry Sara Lou, I have a habit of losing track of names. I hope you liked your time with Blue! Not Breit

luc pfeiffer
luc pfeiffer
Red-Nosed

Apr-15-2009 12:41

Will no one save me from my spider? It's been parking its butt on my sofa for the last month, eating my bonbons and watching soaps (ugh -- at least he could make it mysteries). And it's taking up too many cushions; there's no room for the cat!

Kevin Greene
Kevin Greene
Old Shoe

Apr-22-2009 13:38

Uh oh! A spider! AAAAH!!! KILL IT!!!

Anyone have a 20 ft. Dixie cup? No? Crap.

The spider sits on luc's couch, watching the Young and the Restless, as tears run down it's cheeks. The fairy godmother sneaks up behind it with and ax, and... WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM!!! Now, you have icky spider juices all over your living room. But, at least the spiders dead.

I wish I could watch my worst enemy clean luc's living room with his tongue. :-)

luc pfeiffer
luc pfeiffer
Red-Nosed

May-1-2009 17:15

Don't know why he'd do that; it'll get covered in cat, er, mongoose hair. But here goes. Given that the school banned the clean-the-parking-lot-with-a-toothbrush method of fulfilling detention, your worst enemy is stuck with cleaning my/Luc's apartment's living room. Since the mongoose has torn the bristles out of the scrub brush, the feathers out of the feather duster, the bag out of the vacuum cleaner and the dust out of the dust rag, your worst enemy is left with, er, his tongue to clean the whole living room. Yuck. After a while, he loses his sense of taste to Mr. Clean and his marbles to the mongoose. Result: Monday morning, your worst enemy shows up on your doorstep, decks you and stuffs a mongoose down your throat. Don't want to know what museum he got that from. Meanwhile, Luc has spent the weekend looking for (and finding) a new one room hovel that hasn't been cleaned by spit and (tongue) polish.

I wish my pirate kitty would stop trying to steal Breit's pizza. And raisin toast, apple pie, cereal with milk, ice cream and yellow roses. Will no one cure this cat of her carb addiction?

luc pfeiffer
luc pfeiffer
Red-Nosed

May-10-2009 13:17

And now she stole the french toast. Thanks guys...

Sara Lou
Sara Lou

May-13-2009 21:06

Ahhhhh........
Finally. It's been two weeks and Pirate Kitty hasn't stolen a thing. Speaking of, you've hardly seen hide nor hair of her...
This brings about a search. For three months you search for the kitty, and FINALLY, at Christmas, you get a postcard:

Mums and Pops; no worries. Some of the boys dropped by and asked me to go lootin' in the Carribbean with them. I'll be back for next Christmas. Maybe the next, I'm pretty good at this lootin'.

Much love,
Pirate Kitty


I wish I had the guts to try out for show choir.

luc pfeiffer
luc pfeiffer
Red-Nosed

May-17-2009 23:47

Guess what? You find the guts to try out for show choir. Unfortunately for you, the new season of American Idol is having its try-outs in the same building and everyone and his brother is flocking there for a miniscule chance at stardom. No kidding, all 100,000 of them. In all the chaos caused by ninety-nine thousand nine hundred seventy-four questionable or downright bad wannabe divas, you get the rooms mixed up and end up, you guessed it, auditioning for that Simon guy. Too bad that he actually likes your voice and passes you up the ladder along with the other 26.

You make it all the way through to the finals in Las Vegas. Legions of fans phone in for you and you outstrip the progress of all previous contestants, even that Sanjaya guy (hope i spelled that right). The difference is, you don't actually put cracks in glass and make people cringe every time you belt one out. Unfortunately, because you are so nice, the tabloids can find absolutely no dirt on you, although they do have a fun time trying to find it. No luck. So, they decide to embark on a campaign to bring that Sanjaya guy back. After all, they were able to find LOTS on him last time.

The final indignity is that your screaming public actually welcomes him back with open arms and your vote count drops to one (your mother). Even your siblings vote for the other guy. Although you did get to see an eyeful in Vegas, they decide that you get to get shipped home.

You arrive to find that the show choir would be THRILLED to take you except for one small detail. The show finished three weeks ago and the next won't open their auditions until the middle of July. So now you have a whole two months to gird up that courage, again. And practice your trills.

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