shell marple
Con Artist
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Apr-26-2010 12:29
Mrs. Smith: Yesterday night, John told me that he was going to go to the local pub, but that he would not drink much and would return before midnight. As he went there for the last time almost three weeks ago, I did not say anything, a wife has to be tolerant, hasn’t she, even if she does not approve. I then went to sleep around 10:30 pm, as I usually do.
When I woke up, somebody was touching me. Naturally, I thought it was John returning from the pub. We usually sleep with drawn curtains, so there was pitch dark. I was still half-asleep but felt happy that John had kept his promise and returned soon. I had no reason to think the man was not John, although when I look back, there were some inconsistencies .... We then... well, we made love, and I can’t deny I liked it (Sorry, Johnny, darling.) In the morning, I told John how much I loved it, but he, instead of kissing me or something along the line, he punched me right in the eye and ran away. I realized that something was wrong, then remembered the odd details from the previous night, and, as confused as I was, I ran to the police station to report a rape.
"I suggest we lock up Mr. Smith on charges of assault, Mr. Brown on charges of rape, and Mrs. Smith on charges of adultery.
Constable Spike, will you see to it that the prisoners don't attempt to kill each other, or me for that matter?"
However, and with your permission, Sir: I think perhaps it would be worth reassessing the adultery charge (as Mrs. Smith was acting in good faith and was not aware she was not having an intercourse with her husband. Moreover, adultery is - unfortunately - not a crime). I dare to suggest we let her go, or she might sue us.
And in relation to Mr Brown, I am not sure whether we can charge him with rape, as the sex was consensual. I would rather suggest, with your permission, to charge him with fraud.
And I am willingly going to lock up Mr. Smith.
Sir, may I express my deep admiration of your skills and intuition. You are a genius! I am very happy to have the opportunity to work with you and to learn from
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