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crunchpatty
crunchpatty
Old Shoe

Aug-30-2006 01:51

I heart stupidity. When you see it, post it here. I'll start.

Some of you know that I've do some teaching of first year sociology students in university. I really enjoy it, and love my students, but -GAWD- grading their work is a nightmare.

Through the course of a year, they have to write short essays on a range of topics ---feminism, Karl Marx, education, Freud, crime, etc. I feel kinda guilty laughing at these because of course they are writing under extreme pressure, but holy bobo I find them funny! Every so often, they write something so frickin' hysterical that it makes me gag laughing. These fleeting gems, I collect. Thought y'all might get a kick out of some of them.

Here we go. (nb, all typos and grammar boo boos are theirs from here on, not mine)

"Education is not really as old as many people think. It all came about in
the 1960s when the Russians were more advanced with outerspace."

"There is no evidence of women in society until the late 1990s"

"Freud is the classic theory of gender he believes the boy has the penis the girl has the clitoris simple as that"

"Freud said that a boy who plays too many dolls might be a p_ssy in later life"

"Feminists think women are the lowest of the low"

"Education is bias it only works for children who come from families where the parents are rich white and male"

"Hitlar believed in the destroying the Jews, however, his dictation only lasted until he was alive, after it was forgotten."

"Weber saw society from his eyes"

"someone from the low class is no good to us. we don't see them as nonsuccessful. That is because of sociology"

"Max Weber is a known and accredited sociologist"

"All around us in our society it is, said to be all around us these 'bureacracy' for example God is higher than Jeesus. The boss."



Replies

kcoenich8
kcoenich8

Nov-3-2006 19:47


what I saw in the local news... a pair of theifs gets in a bus to assault it...
in the act, drives thru a police car and all the bus passengers shout at the cops...
the cops stop their car a run to the assaulted bus, the two theifs get scared, one of them runs away... the other one, didnĀ“t know what to do, so he sits on the bus,
pretending he is a passenger... pretty smart eh?

Ravenclaw15
Ravenclaw15

Nov-3-2006 20:22

Sometimes my roommate frightens me. The other day, she suggested I borrow one of her books with this reccomendation: "It's so scary! And it's a completely true story, so that makes it even more scary!!"

This book was actaully "My Life At Rose Red," the cheesy ghost story about a man-eating mansion. The book was also made into a movie by Stephen King, and features voodoo priestesses, swirling vortexes to the underworld, and the standard Indian burial ground underneath the house.
In one scene, previously harmelss plants in a greenhouse wrap their vines around a police officer and eat him alive, leaving only a belt behind.

I tried to break it to my roommate that this was a work of fiction, kind of a poor man's Blair Witch. She didn't believe me, and I was forced to show her several web sites explaining that this is not a true story.

crunchpatty
crunchpatty
Old Shoe

Nov-5-2006 00:55

Oh.My.God. Ravenclaw, I'd move, lol. That's too stupid to allow to sleep in your home. Seriously, get out before she confuses the fire extinguisher with a dress-me-up grover refrigerator magnet set.

crunchpatty
crunchpatty
Old Shoe

Dec-6-2006 01:52

okay so here we are a month later and I've done some (by which I mean humploads of) marking since the last time. There haven't been as many brilliantly stupid ones this time round (hey, but who knows what Santa has in his dunce bag for the devotees of the dumb for next time, right?)

1. They were asked to give the name of two central concepts in sociology. The proper terms for these concepts are 'anomic suicide' and 'organic solidarity'.

Um. Yeah. So these showed up on exams as 'atomic suicide' (nice to leave with a bang) and 'orgasmic solidarity' (that's a movement I can get behind...even if it TOTALLy changes the point of union politics, lol)

2. Some quotes:

(Look out Tokyo, dumbzilla is coming and he brought markers)

"Anime is what occurs when there is a breakdown in social order" (This guy was looking for "anOmie" there)

(Denim Dreamz...pow chickie pow pow)

"Freud believed that we bought the expensive designer jeans because we yearned to be sexy"

(Fun with adjectives)

"Marx believed there was two kinds of power: legitimate power and really really bad power"

(Calendar fun, communist style)
"Marx knew social change could take a long time, decades or even months or whatnot"

(All jobs are nobile, in the right light moment)
"Max Weber was known to be somewhat of a nutjob..."

(Redundantest most redundant most redundantest repetitivest opening sentence ever)

"For the most part of theories and concepts we can see some similarities differences among these theories and concepts so by looking at the similarities and differences we can definitely derive definitive answers about the similarities, differences and theories and concepts, if not personal opinions"


yoyofoshow
yoyofoshow
Old Shoe

Dec-6-2006 02:09

Here's an email I got recently, I though it would fit in best here:

Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their
collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school
essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of
teachers
across the country. Here are last year's winners.....

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides
gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like
underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a
guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of
those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country
speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar

eclipse
without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was
room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes
just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated
because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge
at a
formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag
filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an
eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city

and
Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p. m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you
fry them in hot grease.

yoyofoshow
yoyofoshow
Old Shoe

Dec-6-2006 02:09

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across
the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having
left Cleveland at 6:36 p. m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka
at 4:19 p. m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences
that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who
had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the
East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only
one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil,
this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not
eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either,
but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land
mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender
leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with
power tools.


biggie528
biggie528
Lucky Stiff

Dec-6-2006 03:16

*fries the maggot of ignorance in the smoking-hot, star-crossed grease of inborn stupidity for onenanna and TOTALLY brings all this up at the next union meeting*

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you
fry them in hot grease.

is this a coincidence? or did this metaphor come from Crunch's thesis???

yoyofoshow
yoyofoshow
Old Shoe

Dec-6-2006 04:04

I think these are Crunch's future students. I hope your ready CP

crunchpatty
crunchpatty
Old Shoe

Dec-6-2006 09:48

YEAH baby, that's what I'm talking about yoyo!!! And, having just days ago managed to get a lecture hall of 250 students to sing the "batman smells" version of Jingle Bells, I feel confident that my game is tight enough for these bright n' shiny minds of the future.

And while a surprising proportion of my thesis DOES explore the frying of maggots - and related cultural sensitivity issue- in this case it's just a coincidence...onenanna had posted that one a while back.

Oh... it occurs to me I may have just stolen the Captain Obvious sledgehammer.

crunchpatty
crunchpatty
Old Shoe

Jan-18-2007 01:38

Okay, so another round of happy happy student grading is in the books.

This time, they were asked questions about gender and sexuality. Usually this provides for mucho hilarity. But either they've gotten slightly smarter or I'm just kinda not paying as much attention.


Anyways, here's the 'stupid' gems du jour. My comments in (parentheses) :

"For example there is a stereotype that a gay man is an interior decorator, this is wrong. A lesbian can also be an interior decorator." (SWEET! DO THESE DRAPES MAKE ME LOOK BUTCH?)

"Those who cannot adequately handle their gender are often coined as homosexual and give off a homosexual appearance" (*throws a fistful of quarters at the 'Queer Eye' sound stage*)

"In today's society men cannot ever obtain the position of a secretary while women cannot very often obtain the position of President of the United States.
(Screw you, my dad was all man and he was a secretary.)

(For context's sake, these next two are from the same, gifted guy, and Church Street is kind of the centre of Toronto's Gay Village):

"Society has set great stereotypes of homosexuals for example homosexuals are bald to very little hair, have tattoos, piercing the right ear and fat. People who also aren't very psychically involved but more of a person who likes act, cleaning and music etc, therefore there are many guys who appreciate the following but they don't just take it, they aren't homosexuals. Instead, these are refeered to as 'bisexuals'. Categories are wrong, sociologically."

"When holding hands of a person of same sex on Church Street, Downtown Toronto seems okay it might not be the same at University of Toronto campus. There, the likelihood of experiencing homosexual relationships is far lower than on Church Street. (if holding hands counts as sexual relations I really need to get with the belt-notching. And phone my mom about something that happened in 1979)

(more)



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