Sleuth Home - Detective Cow Ward II

Director - Woggs & Ward

Smart and Charming
6332 days
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Naval Spy Glass Portable Bar Boater Hat Lucky Strike The Sphinx's Paws

Completed Missions

  • Packages Delivered: 13
  • Overdue Books Returned: 11
  • Nemeses Captured: 0
  • Secret Plans Revealed: 3
  • Artifacts Unearthed: 6
  • Journal Pages Found: 0
  • Brass Rings Won: 0

Detective Biography

Some will tell you that Cow Ward is the fanciful product of a brilliant grade 5 creative writing assignment that fully deserved the A+ that it received, but I can assure you nothing can be further from the truth - indeed, he is as real as anything you could ever imagine.

Like many other cows, Cow Ward was born on the pastoral plains of rural England. He would have seemed destined for a life of gentle grazing and quiet content were it not for the fact that he was unlike all other cows in one very important respect: Cow Ward was no ordinary cow - he was a purple cow, born in a world full of brown cows. He was often teased and taunted, some even calling him a poor man's Rudolph, and over time this led him to develop a decidedly timid and fearful disposition. Oftentimes in moments of great anguish, he would turn to his brother and exclaim, "Oh, Re Ward! why couldn't I have been born a normal cow like you?"

Fortunately, Cow Ward never inherited that dreadfully volatile temperament so common nowadays amongst his British kin - he was no mad cow, never acting out against his ceaseless tormentors. Instead, when he came of age, Cow Ward decided to set out on a personal journey across the wide, wide world.

He is currently on a life-long quest to overcome his fear of all things fearful and to find new friends wherever they are to be found. He is tireless in his attempts to aid his good friend Woggle Woggs in recovering a mysterious red shovel. In his free time, he delights in visiting his cousin Blue Cow in Australia. Filled with grand ambitions, he also dreams of one day jumping over the moon.


Order o Socrates:  Poor(-3)
Arcanum Brthrhd:  Good(10)
Cosa Nostra:  Fair(8)
Eastern Triads:  Fair(9)
Circle of Light:  Poor(-1)
Green Hand:  Poor(-3)
The Tea Steepers:  Great(50)
Shangri La Tigers:  Terrible(-50)


Shoe Maker (New York)
Butcher (New York)
Curator (London)
Tailor (London)
Shoe Maker (Shanghai)
Bartender (Shanghai)
Missionary (Delhi)
Podiatrist (Delhi)
Waitress (Cairo)
Banker (Cairo)

Arch Villains

Lord Rex Dark

Professor Shang-Ti Malatesta

Azriel "the Pistol" Derringer

Colonel Circe Severn

Esmeralda "Snake Eyes" Derringer

Professor Caesar Belphegore

Drogo "the Rat" Wanstrath

Professor Shu Fang von Dreyst

Books Collected

The Mysterious Affair at Styles
Agatha Christie

Secret Adversary
Agatha Christie

The Adventure of the Empty House
Arthur Conan Doyle

The Hound of the Baskervilles
Arthur Conan Doyle

A Scandal in Bohemia
Arthur Conan Doyle

Martin Hewitt, Investigator
Arthur Morrison

The Mystery of Marie Roget
Edgar Allan Poe

The Murders in the Rue Morgue
Edgar Allan Poe

Vox Imperium
Michael Bagen

The Circle of Fire
Michael Bagen

A History of Indian Philosophy
Surendranath Dasgupta

The Moonstone
Wilkie Collins