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Your wish is my command
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BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:01

Your wish is my command. Allan Lardin felt quite relaxed as he was seated in his comfortable leather armchair. He whispered these words again.....your wish is my command. As far as he could remember no one ever told him that before. He just liked the sound of it. Imagine everyone would reply to you like that. Like the cop that wants to book you for speeding. Officer, could you do me a favor and tear up what you are just writing? Yes sir, your wish is my command. You walk into the office of your boss and demand an instant raise of salary. Well, yeah, sure Mr. Lardin, YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND.

Allan Lardin is 41 and senior editor of a publishing company. He’s lucky enough he can walk the distance every day from his office to his home. That is if he isn’t working at home. Allan loves to take his time while he’s walking his way back home. He’ll always make sure to eat a sandwich at a bench in the park or hang around for a while at the newspaper stand where you can buy that delicious hazelnut flavoured coffee for less than a dollar. It has an awarding effect on him to see how everyone seems to be in a rush and always running out of time while he can take it easy before deadlines are getting too close. Like something he has earned. Besides that, no one will be waiting for him to come home either. That’s how it has always been, even when he was a child. With no intention to buy anything at all Allan felt like blending in with the crowd at the little market place. There’s a market every Friday. He always wondered why not on a Saturday or Sunday. Then again what other excuses would there be left for unsatisfied housewives to leave home without the neighbours becoming too suspicious. Oh please do shut up, he hears himself muttering. Most of the market stands he wasn’t really interested in unless he had one of his candy moods.

Replies

BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:15

Mark Twain once said that the difference between fiction and non-fiction is that fiction has to be believable. Oh! I simply love to paraphrase the great minds of history Allan. How do you like this one from George Bernard Shaw? Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will. Exactly, Allan replied, that principle may very well be the case in most legends and sagas even though I assume George Bernard Shaw meant something else by that. Very cunning, but let’s not forget that Heinrich Schliemann was considered a mythomaniac before he discovered the ruins of Troy. Alright now, wise guy, you did really good on the Mary Celeste but let me see how you tackle this one. Did you ever hear of the Hutchison Effect? I have to shamefully admit I’m totally unfamiliar with this mysterious effect but I’m all ears. Very well then. In 1979 a guy named John Hutchison accidentally registered a series of phenomena while studying electromagnetic longitudinal waves. Hutchison noticed that certain odd reactions took place when radio waves interfered with places that have a high voltage source such as a generator or an electromagnetic coil. Such weird phenomena were the levitation of heavy objects like a 60 lbs. canon ball or the fusion of dissimilar materials such as wood and iron. The list goes on. Hutchison reported the heating of metals without a burning source and spontaneous fracturing of metals. The fusion of dissimilar materials in particular is very baffling as it was shown that these materials can “come together” but individually they do not dissolve. In other words, a wooden block could sink into a metal bar but doesn’t become one with it. And I suggest you let this sink into your mind buddy. If you think that’s the only mindblowing rarity I can come up with, just watch what I let slip out of my sleeve now. I’m talking about spontaneous human combustion.

BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:16

Spontaneous human combustion eh? Oh c’mon, gimme a break now. Well, Allan, let’s see what the simple facts tell us shall we? There is the very appalling case of a Mary Reeser from St.-Petersburg, Florida who was found dead in her apartment in July 1951. Her landlady was the first to ring the alarm bell as she felt that the doorknob to her apartment felt uncomfortably warm. The remains of Mary Reeser consisted mostly of ashes except for a part of her left foot that was still wearing a slipper. The chair she was sitting on was also cindered and plastic objects in her immediate vicinity lost their shape and were softened. The most intriguing evidence that was left was her skull that survived the fire but was shrunk to the size of an orange. The fact that her body had been totally cremated would imply that very high temperatures must have been at work but that’s a contradiction with the state of her apartment. The case was eventually classified by the FBI with the conclusion that she used sleeping pills and must have fallen asleep while smoking a cigarette. How convenient though that the rest of the apartment didn’t burn out, eh Allan? And do you think that explains the shrunken skull? An equally symmetrically shrunken skull? To the size of an orange??? And she’s not the only case you know. I say we have a situation here with which Ockam’s razor has a hard time to shred it into pieces. Allan felt his initial irritation coming back. So, you’re supposed to be a genie? Gene never seems to loose his calm which also largely contributed to Allan’s anxiety. Well, you’ll find out after you gave me your three wishes. I see you still didn’t sign that form. Right, actually I think it’s absurd to come up with such a formality considering you claim to possess such great powers. You really are a piece of work you know that Allan? Most people are just happy with the chance that they see three of their wishes come out but you just keep picking on all those details.

BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:19

Signing this form Allan, is the ultimate proof that you act out of free will. What if my free will tells me not to sign it? Hahaha! I was wondering what kept you so long. I can’t make you wish your wishes but that would be a very undesirable situation for both of us. When you invoked me it brought a duty upon me to carry out your command. I can’t release myself from that until your death. Which means I’ll have to constantly bother you and ask over and over what your wishes are.

And what if I wished you wouldn’t bother me? Besides the fact that this seems like a waste I can’t answer that question for you as I’m bound to certain laws. Interesting....very well then, I reckon I wouldn’t be doing any harm to myself by signing a document that would be considered ludicrous in any courtroom. I’m glad we have this over with so now let’s get to your wishes. Most people don’t surprise me with what they wish for but still....I’m always looking forward to what they come up with. I see it is an interesting reflection of one’s personality. Oh really. In that case I’ll probably disappoint you with my first wish but I have the need to feel secure over certain aspects in my life. Financially that is. The face of the genie didn’t show any notable expression. Well then......my first wish would be to have a buckload of money. I assume you mean a large quantity of money. Could you be a bit more specific there? I’ll probably won’t be able to spend it all but what the heck! I want to know what it’s like to swim in money. I want to indulge in decadent hedonism. Ten million dollar will do pal, if you please. By all means.....your wish is my command. For a while Allan and his guest were sitting across each other. Allan was becoming restless as nothing seemed to happen. So??? Where on earth is that money? Relax buddy, it’s still piling up. I don’t see it! Upstairs in your bedroom where you left your wallet. Allan stood up and rushed to see the miracle happen.

BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:20

When he was halfway up the stairs he heard an increasingly loud noise of tinkling of metal like there was a fountain that kept spitting coins at an insane speed. He was completely taken by surprise when he was caught in a wave of nickels and dimes that flooded over the stairs and wiped him of his feet. Struggling to get up again he got hit by a new wave of coins that were poured down. Several minutes later the monetary tsunami was halted. Allan was lying on the ground, still heavily breathing. Most of his living room as well as the kitchen and all of the stairs were covered with piles of coins and he could only imagine how the upper floor must look like.

He turned around to the direction where Gene Satious was seated, looking impeccable and with his hands folded over his belly. Allan’s eyes were wide-opened and there was a bit of drool coming out of the corner of his mouth. YOU GODFORSAKEN IMBECILE!!!!! Finding himself in a rage Allan grabbed the collar of Gene’s jacket when he felt an iron grip around his wrist. Dammit man! You’re hurting me! Let go! Allan was pushed to the adjacent chair with such a might that he landed after a split second. His head got knocked against the wooden rim and he lost his conscience for a while. When he woke up he still felt dizzy. This feeling was pushed aside very abruptly as a new sensation revealed itself to him. A most penetrating and foul stench filled his nose and it became more and more unbearable by the second. Allan couldn’t decide if it was the smell of rotten fish or burned rubber that tried to dominate over each other. His heart froze when he saw the dark posture sitting across the other side of the table. Glad to have you back amongst the living but perhaps you will do a better job now to get a hold over your temper? I might be godforsaken but I’m certainly not an imbecile. Let this be a lesson for you to carefully consider and formulate what you wish for.

BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:21

The thing sounded like Gene but that was about the only thing that reminded Allan about how he used to be like. His whole skin was coloured in a dark muddy brown and his mouth and nose were stretched forward like it was the snout of a baboon. His fingers were long and thin and got such long dirty nails like they were closer to being claws then hands. His head and shoulders were covered with thick bushy hair that didn’t seem human at all. The belly seemed to be made of leather and transformed into an armoured plate that covered his chest. The most creepy feature however were the eyes. They had no lids and reminded him very much of the eyes of a cat except that they didn’t look wild as an animal but where indeed intelligent and bright. For the love of God, what are you?! I’m the genie of the lamp Allan. But if you prefer a more scientific description you can always refer to me as an unclassified species I suppose. Serious now, I’m a jinn and not just any type of jinn. I’m an ifrit which means I’m in control over nine powers of magic. Like every other jinn I’m an elemental creature who’s in control over the element of fire. I can make volcanoes erupt merely by my willpower. Aside from this tremendous force I have the power of materialization, dematerialization, illusion, immortality, transformation, invisibility, mind control and forecasting.

As impressive as these forces may seem I’m not a free creature and I have to abide by the curse that has been set upon me centuries ago after I stole the jewels from the Temple of Solomon. I prefer not to elaborate in those painful memories. I just want you to know that I truly love my freedom and that this servitude that is forced upon me marks me as a burning chain around my neck. So hurry up with your next two wishes so that we have this over with and I can commence my slumbering again till the next idiot summons me. Those nickels and dimes.....will they be of any use?

BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:22

I mean what kind of bank would ever agree to exchange that pile of coins into bank notes? I’m pretty sure that the US Mint will have to accept those coins but I can’t guarantee you that you won’t draw any publicity on you. Not to mention the fact that you probably will have to explain how this vast amount of coins ever came to your possession. Oh blast......I guess you’re right about that. The sensible thing would probably be to wish for these coins to be exchanged into $ 100 notes.....eh, US $ that is. Is that your second wish? Yeah, you foul stinking creature. You really suckered me in there but it’s my second wish. The piles of coins quickly transformed into stacks of dollar notes. They only occupied a fraction of the space that was taken by the coins but the amount of money still looked very impressive. Congratulations, you’re rich. Again! One more wish remaining, Allan, so think about it carefully. Isn’t it uncanny though how hard it can be to know what you really want? Allan had to admit to that. How much time do I have before I can come up with my next wish? Very smart question Allan. Take a look outside and tell me how long it takes before sunset. Sunset??? Wait a minute....I believe you told me that you were only released from your duty till I die! True....but that would have been the case if you didn’t come up with any wish at all. I already granted two of your wishes and if you can’t come up with another wish, well.....that’s beyond my control isn’t it? Keep thinking Lardin, I’m sure something will come to mind. Can I wish for something such as immortality? I’m afraid not. Just as you can’t wish to be an angel or a sorcerer. I can’t alter the state or nature of your being. I can only provide you the goods or gifts that are within the reach of your human capacities. I can make your looks more attractive, or make an athlete out of you or a nuclear physicist because those are achievements inherent to the human race.



BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:23

Allan took another look at the oil lamp. He noticed how the colours of the inscriptions seemed to be fading. When was the last time you had to carry out someone’s wishes? That was back in 1986 by an 11-year old kid. Really? What did he wish for? Allan.....shouldn’t you rather be focusing on your own wish? I know, but still I think it wouldn’t hurt to get some inspiration. Oh well, your choice then. He wished his dad would stop drinking, that he would become a famous football player and that the guy who always bullied him at school would be awfully afraid of him. Oh I see, the poor kid.....Why do you say that? He made very wise choices you know. He saved the marriage of his parents and his father found a decent job and later started his own company. He became a damn good quarterback with the Denver Broncos and earned millions of price money and by appearing in commercials. The fact that his bully peed his pants just by looking at him helped to build up his self esteem. He was pretty popular with the chicks in high school. Good for him! And I’m glad you weren’t such a jerk by making his dad completely stop drinking so he would die from dehydration. He was a kid you know....I always give kids a break, just as I do with the simpleminded or people who are genuinely altruistic. Oh, you’re such a kind soul aren’t you! I reckon I don’t qualify for any of these qualifications? Your intelligence should prevent you to make dumb wishes Allan, although you weren’t exactly doing a good job so far. Furthermore....I won’t hold it against you that you turned into a cynic. The only optimistic intellectuals I ever met were politicians. But there were definitely moments in your life that you were an asshole. Correct me if I’m wrong. Pardon me, but I don’t think I did anything outrageous. I’m not saying that I’m a saint but when it comes to good or bad I don’t think I ever exceeded what can be considered as average. I admit that everyone has flaws in his character.

BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:25

Still....it would be much easier to come up with a list of people that regretted the day they met you than folks who were truly glad you played a role of some importance in their lives. You know who I’m talking about right?

It remains an enigma to me how you claim to know so much about me. But I’d like to hear what moments of my life you picked out. The ifrit was pointing to a clock. Yeah yeah, no need to remind me. We still have some time left. If you say so....you really don’t have a clue? Nope. Remember, Allan, the year you were a freshman at Manhattan College? I believe it must have been in 1985. Oh my God! Is it that long ago already? How I wish I were that young again.......oops!!! Hold on!!! That wasn’t a real wish!!! Just in time dude. Anyway, you were renting a small but neat studio and were given a more than reasonable allowance by your parents to cover for all costs. I suppose that sending a 19-year old kid to the Big City with too much money for his own good is asking for trouble. It soon turned out you were spending that money on all sorts of rubbish but paying the rent in time wasn’t really your thing was it? Eventually you were three months behind and your landlord was starting to get a little edgy. Then one of your buddies who was studying law had a look at your contract and found out the landlord neglected to include your monthly contribution for the use of water in that contract. He simply charged a fixed fee to everyone in that building and there weren’t even counters to measure the individual usage of water. Your pal then introduced you to his daddy the corporate lawyer and the landlord was forced to renew the contract and was made perfectly clear it would save him a heck lot of money to drop any claims towards you. Very neat how you weasled your way out of that. Did it ever occur to you that this man worked off his butt to pay for the mortgage of that property and had a family to look after?

BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:26

His own mistake. I still can’t believe how he managed to overlook such a thing with all these tenants he had so far. He learned his lesson well after that I can tell you. You happened to be the first case he had to deal with such a matter as all his other tenants never gave him a hard time paying their rent. The guy just assumed he could trust them. You learned him otherwise.

So I guess this makes me a bad person now? Not really.....I realize all too well that worse things than that happen all the time. It was a jerky thing you did and it doesn’t quite make you adorable but I suppose it can be put on the count that you were young, reckless and inconsiderate. A typical middle class teenager. Aren’t you the cynic now? Maybe...you could have done something far worse the year after when you and your college buddies went to Cancun for spring break. You, Todd and Lyle were sharing a hotel room if I’m not mistaken. No, you’re not.....you just keep amazing me. I bet. Does the name Joan Clemence still ring a bell? You know, that girl from Wisconsin. During a night that you and your pals were in a drunken stupor the three of you came to the idea to talk her into your room. The main idea was to cut a piece of her pubic hair by means of a trophy. Lucky for you that you just had about enough of your senses left not to do it. But don’t take too much credit for that Lardin. You only dropped it because you were afraid of the possible ramifications and not so much for your concern about the girl’s feelings. Your good buddy Todd later got convicted for raping a girl at campus didn’t he? Yes...Have you ever wondered, Allan, why it’s so hard for you to relate to anyone at all? Did you ever really love someone? I had relationships before. Yes, and they all failed miserably. Your affair with Faye seemed to be very promising though....Don’t you get into that! Why not? It’s none of your bloody business okay? What are you trying to hide Allan? We both now what happened...

BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:29

Shut up!!! I guess you must have loved her at first but then you broke your emotional attachments to her after you found out she developed a cancer. Shut up your fucking mouth!!! What was I supposed to do? Hold her hand all the time in the hospital and watching her to become a shadow of herself??? And every hope for recovery being crushed time after time??? You didn’t even say goodbye to her Allan. You just stopped visiting her, leaving her alone to die. You couldn’t even bring yourself to attend to her funeral. And that’s the truth my friend.

Something broke in Allan. His eyes were filled with tears and his heart got filled with an intense blackness. You still need to get in terms with that instead of taking it out to others. You have no idea how much your bitterness affected others. Like the case with that young promising author. What’s his name......oh, yeah! Darren Harmisch! You must remember him, Allan. Didn’t you review his debut novel named “Fainted Love”? It was partly fictitious and partly biographical. It gave a very accurate depiction of what it’s like to love someone who has cancer. Must have been very painful how it was all rubbed in your face. It was an honest, taboo breaking book and if you weren’t so bitter you might have approached it from a different angle. You could have easily resigned yourself from that job for understandable reasons but instead you preferred to dip your pen in poison and write devastating comments. On top of that you used all your influence and connections to prevent that book to be published. Eventually poor Darren found a smaller publishing company but his work got printed in a small edition and he couldn’t get the promotional back up he deserved. Since his literary experience gave him such a bad aftertaste Darren gave up his writing and found himself a job as a salesman for a pharmaceutical company. I bet he must have sold medication to treat cancer. Isn’t that just ironic Allan? Allan?

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