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Your wish is my command
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BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:01

Your wish is my command. Allan Lardin felt quite relaxed as he was seated in his comfortable leather armchair. He whispered these words again.....your wish is my command. As far as he could remember no one ever told him that before. He just liked the sound of it. Imagine everyone would reply to you like that. Like the cop that wants to book you for speeding. Officer, could you do me a favor and tear up what you are just writing? Yes sir, your wish is my command. You walk into the office of your boss and demand an instant raise of salary. Well, yeah, sure Mr. Lardin, YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND.

Allan Lardin is 41 and senior editor of a publishing company. He’s lucky enough he can walk the distance every day from his office to his home. That is if he isn’t working at home. Allan loves to take his time while he’s walking his way back home. He’ll always make sure to eat a sandwich at a bench in the park or hang around for a while at the newspaper stand where you can buy that delicious hazelnut flavoured coffee for less than a dollar. It has an awarding effect on him to see how everyone seems to be in a rush and always running out of time while he can take it easy before deadlines are getting too close. Like something he has earned. Besides that, no one will be waiting for him to come home either. That’s how it has always been, even when he was a child. With no intention to buy anything at all Allan felt like blending in with the crowd at the little market place. There’s a market every Friday. He always wondered why not on a Saturday or Sunday. Then again what other excuses would there be left for unsatisfied housewives to leave home without the neighbours becoming too suspicious. Oh please do shut up, he hears himself muttering. Most of the market stands he wasn’t really interested in unless he had one of his candy moods.

Replies

BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:07

? Really, mister, you could have picked several other objects here from my stand and I would have wholeheartedly agreed with you it is junk. But not with this one. Oh no! Out of respect for our ancestors and how they managed to survive under much severe circumstances, this lamp doesn’t deserve to be treated with such an astonishing lack of respect. And now I must inquire you again, mister, why do you despise this fine piece of craft so much?” Allan was still recovering from that unexpected outburst. He was also painfully aware of the fact that several pairs of eyes were aimed at him. Like people were expecting him to come up with an answer that better be not less than mindblowing. “Well, eh, maybe it’s those funny inscriptions. I dunno...” Great, Lardin, just great.....”I see”, these two words seemed to carry an awful lot of weight. Mr. Cap was now examining the crowd and seemed ready to give his grand finale. “Do you even know in what language it is written not to mention the meaning of these words? What you qualify as “funny”, mister, might be words of wisdom. Your absence of knowledge should not justify your mockery. If you’re really as smart and educated as I’m willing to give you that credit you’d be eager to decipher this for yourself. And in case you’re interested, mister, I won’t be asking more than 12 buck for this. Can you think of a smarter way to spend 12 buck unless you’re into a five minute blowjob from a toothless baboon?” Allan knew he was trapped now. If he would just leave the crowd would only laugh harder than they were doing already. “Make that 10 buck, pops, and I’ll take it, okay?” Mr. Cap switched back from street philosopher to vendor. “It’s yours mister, seems like we got ourselves a deal.” Yeah, right....my turn now. “Since you did your outmost best to convince me of the unique value of this artefact, surely you wouldn’t want to disgrace it now by handing it to me without having it wrapped in nicely, now would you?”

BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:08

?” Mr. Cap smirked and took a sheet of wrapping paper out of his drawer. “By all means, mister, your wish is my command.”

That was five days ago. At first Allan refused to admit “his” oil lamp would be a contribution to the decorum of his place. But $ 10 was just a tad too much money to throw it in the garbage bag. Eventually he managed to swallow his pride and even started to polish his lamp and decided to put it right above his fireplace. He didn’t examine yet in what language those inscriptions were written. But he would always associate this ornament with Mr. Cap’s last words....The sound of the doorbell brought Allan back to the present. Halfway expecting to be dealing with a Jehovah’s witness, Allan was slightly surprised when he examined the person standing in front of him. He estimated this guy to be in his early thirties. The suit he was wearing must have easily costed $ 1,000 and it seemed like he just paid a visit to the hairdresser’s. Allan noticed a tie pin in the shape of a horseshoe. This stranger also carried a fine leather briefcase with him. “Pleased to meet you, sir. My name is Gene Satious and I’ll guarantee you that you will find it a very good investment if I can have just a little moment of your time.” Allan shook his well-manicured hand. “Delighted Mr. Satious and pardon me for being so bold but could you tell me what this is all about?” “No problem, Mr. Lardin, no problem at all. How would you feel if I told you that you won the lottery and then multiply that feeling with 3?” Allan was tempted to think he was dealing with a nut if it weren’t for the fact that he looked just a bit too sophisticated and professional for that. He could have easily passed for a hot shot attorney or a company executive. “If this is in any way involved with insurances, Mr. Satious, I can save us both our time and tell you right away I’m not at all interested.”

BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:08

The sharp dressed man grinned and exposed a series of white shiny teeth. Apparently he has a good dental plan with his company. “Please, call me Gene. That is a very common and understandable assumption you made, but I can assure you this has nothing to do with insurances Mr. Lardin. If you would just allow me in and let me explain what this is all about, I promise you that you won’t regret it. In the meantime let me give you this free ticket for a mystery dinner at your place organized by a stylish and renowned catering company. See it as a token of our sincere appreciation.”

Allan Lardin looked at the ticket that was handed to him. He looked back at the stranger. All in a sudden Allan was aware of the overwhelming odour of the aftershave the stranger had put on himself. It actually embarrassed him that he had to admit there was something sensuous about this smell and that he could understand why a woman would feel attracted to this guy. “Gucci”. Huh? Allan woke up out of his daydream. “I thought you might be wondering what aftershave I use. The name is Gucci”. Allan smirked sheepishly. “No offence meant Mr. Lardin but I’m holding this ticket for about 3 minutes now. Let me tell you this dinner is normally worth $ 500 if this can convince you to accept this free gift which comes totally without any obligations at all.” This seemed to convince Allan to accept this little token of appreciation. After all....deep down he’s a bit of an avarice. “Erm.....Mr. Satious....just how long do you think it’ll take to explain me whatever it is you want to share?” “Please, do call me Gene. Normally it takes me about an hour or two but since you appear to be an educated man, Mr. Lardin, I’m quite confident it won’t take me more than an hour of your time.” Allan became more and more aware of the fact that this Gene character was taking over the situation even though his pride struggled back against this simple fact.

BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:10

His inner strife could find a compromise in the idea that it was alright to let this stranger enter his house just to prove to himself he was capable of reclaiming control over the situation.

Have a seat Mr. Satious....erm, Gene that is. I hope you don’t take much notice of the mess around here. I just received a bunch of new manuscripts that need to be reviewed and that’s a tough thing to hide. It just proofs that you’re a hard working man, Allan, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Do you still find joy in the work that you do? Oh dear, Allan muttered to himself, must we really have this corny politeness? What can I say Gene, it’s a job and it helps me to survive. I’m not always keen on those bleeding deadlines but I guess flaws are inevitable with any job I can think of. I’m sure you don’t always like your job do you? What’s your job anyway? The most rewarding job you can think of Allan, my job is to make sure your wishes come out. The only conditions are that you can make no more than three wishes but I trust that will be sufficient to drastically change your life. Another limitation is that you can’t wish for more wishes in case you’re such a smartass. I can’t help you either with bringing the dead back to life. And last but not least, I can’t make someone fall in love with you because you can’t mess with the free will. But enough about rules now and time to focus on the possibilities. One last warning though, Allan, think carefully what you wish for because I can’t make it undone unless you wish for it. Gene Satious opened his briefcase that seemed to be filled with all sorts of documents. He took out a form and laid it on the table. Take your time Allan to read it before you sign.

The whole scene became more ludicrous and grotesque to Allan Lardin. Still he picked up this piece of paper and took note of what was written on it.

BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:11

The document was titled “Execution of Will” and what really seemed absurd was that it wasn’t even typed but all written in a curly handwriting! Underneath the title the following lines were written. I, Allan Lardin, born February 5th 1966, hereby state and confirm that I demand the execution of three of my wishes and that this execution will take place immediately after I signed this document. By signing I fully declare that I was in a state of full consciousness and aware of all the implications that might come forth after I made my wishes. I also declare that this agreement was made by my free will and that no action was used to force me into accepting the terms and conditions that I agreed upon. Gene.....either you are a very elaborate scam artist or you are a very deluded individual whose mind is trapped in some twisted virtual reality. I regret the fact I was so much denying all my common sense to let you in my house but now it’s really time you take a hike. Very eloquently said, Allan, as always. But before you decide to indulge in your further ranting I want you to consider this. Gene Satious was pointing his finger to the fireplace. Allan became painfully aware of the fact that there was a monstrous and evil alliance between that damn oil lamp and this clown in a $ 1,000 suit. I take it Allan that you still didn’t have time to translate those inscriptions. But holding that against you would be petty and smallminded indeed. Let me enlighten you by saying that those words are written in Farsi, a Persian language. ش...ا پيش ان اوردن خواستن حرف گفت. جن حرف ...يان بيشر.... عدد.. In plain English it means “One audacious among the jinn said: I will bring it to you before you rise up from your place, and most surely I am strong and trusty for it”. Thanks for sharing that with me but it still doesn’t make any sense. Allan’s nerves were really probed now. Relax my friend and see this as an interesting plot unfolding.

BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:12

. The line I just translated can be found in the Quran. More specifically it’s verse 39 of the Sura named An-Naml or The Ants. It’s a reply to a request by King Solomon who demanded to bring him a throne that would be suitable for the Queen of Sheba. By the ring that carried his seal King Solomon was given power over all the jinns.

How would YOU know all about this? And now that I come to think about it......what’s your connection with this oil lamp anyway? Are you in cahoots with the guy who sold me that piece of junk? Gene Satious was still sitting in his chair and everything indicated that he had no intention to leave. For the first time he was smirking which made Allan furious and intimidated at the same time. I’m afraid it’s going to take more than an hour to explain it to you when you let your temper take over the more rational part of you. It never ceases to amaze me how people react when you offer them to make their wishes come true. You still don’t get it do you Allan? By polishing that oil lamp you unleashed forces that have been slumbering for ages. Go ahead and take a close look at your so despised little trinket and tell me what you see. Cursing the fact that his sharp edged wit failed him so badly that day at the market, Allan stepped forward and examined that object of which he rapidly got convinced it was truly cursed. He couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw something had changed about the inscriptions. It seemed like they were glowing as if there was a candle inside that lamp. The curly symbols were going from red to orange to yellow and back to red. After a brief hesitation he put his hands around the lamp but it felt cold as always. A beginning of despair was visible in Allan’s eyes when he turned back to Gene. Gene. Genie. It’s rather uncomforting when you experience that your Cartesian mind can’t account for everything isn’t it Lardin? The tormented editor tried to sound as calm as he possibly could. Please, leave my house.

BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:13

Gene the genie lit a cigarette in the meantime and was blowing perfect circles of fume like they were little halos. Would that be your first wish then? Such a waste....if you think about what you forsaked for that one simple request. I’m talking about desires such as wealth, fame, talent, eternal admiration and fulfilment of all your lusty needs. By the way, are you into fiction or perhaps you prefer non-fiction after all?

I guess I always valued the creativity of fiction over the more informative nature of non-fiction even though creative non-fiction is an existing literary genre. Which doesn’t mean I believe in fairy tales. Of course you don’t, you’re much too empirical for that right? The sacred alliance between knowledge and perception! But what if we perceive something that indeed occurred but can’t be invoked repeatedly and therefore can’t be considered to be a proven fact? Or do you truly believe that legends and fairy tales came out of nothing? I’ve heard those kind of arguments before. Allan felt relieved in an awkward way that he found himself back in more common ground. Our perceptions can be misguided or stories become more and more modified as they are passed over several generations. And a lot of these stories actually contain disguised criticism or serve metaphorical or allegorical purposes. What you’re saying can’t be completely denounced dear Allan, but really, is that the best you can do? I agree that your statements can be fully applied when we talk about Godzilla or King Kong. But how do you explain the mysterious disappearance of the crew of the Mary Celeste? It was Allan’s turn to smirk now. The Mary Celeste. Or the Amazon as it was originally named. One of the so many ghost ship stories. Heavily romanticized and mystified by authors such as Arthur Conan Doyle. But the simple facts tell something quite different. You see, during it’s last voyage the ship was containing a cargo of industrial alcohol.

BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:14

When the Mary Celeste was found in December 1872 by the crew of the Dei Gratie they found that the lifeboats had been launched and that several important items such as the sextant, the chronometer and all the ship’s documents were missing. Except for the captain’s logbook. The compass appeared to be destroyed and the forehatch and lazarette were both open. The cargo of over 1700 barrels of alcohol was still intact but later it was examined that nine barrels were empty. The last log entry was written eleven days before the ship was found. In early 1873 two lifeboats were reported grounded in Spain. One had the American flag and a dead body and the other one contained five dead bodies. If we assume that nine barrels of alcohol were leaking that would have caused an alarming build up of vapour in the hold as you may well imagine. In those circumstances captain Briggs may well have ordered to immediately abandon the ship and the ignition of the vapours most likely caused an explosion strong enough to severely damage a part of the ship. The crew apparently had no time to take all the necessary measurements for survival as a six month supply of food was found aboard. All this makes it very plausible that they must have died in their lifeboats starving from hunger and thirst. Moreover a storm was reported in that area shortly after the vessel was abandoned. There you go Gene, another myth that has been torpedoed by empirical missiles.

I’m very impressed Allan. Your arguments are backed up by profound factual knowledge and I’m sure you fully deserve your status as an intellectual. I knew I wasn’t dealing with an idiot. Having a debate with a well-educated man is one of the things I very much like to indulge in. For someone who appreciates fiction you’re not doing bad on the hard solid facts I must say. True, Allan admitted, but I happen to have a great admiration for fiction that could pass for reality.

BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:15

Mark Twain once said that the difference between fiction and non-fiction is that fiction has to be believable. Oh! I simply love to paraphrase the great minds of history Allan. How do you like this one from George Bernard Shaw? Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will. Exactly, Allan replied, that principle may very well be the case in most legends and sagas even though I assume George Bernard Shaw meant something else by that. Very cunning, but let’s not forget that Heinrich Schliemann was considered a mythomaniac before he discovered the ruins of Troy. Alright now, wise guy, you did really good on the Mary Celeste but let me see how you tackle this one. Did you ever hear of the Hutchison Effect? I have to shamefully admit I’m totally unfamiliar with this mysterious effect but I’m all ears. Very well then. In 1979 a guy named John Hutchison accidentally registered a series of phenomena while studying electromagnetic longitudinal waves. Hutchison noticed that certain odd reactions took place when radio waves interfered with places that have a high voltage source such as a generator or an electromagnetic coil. Such weird phenomena were the levitation of heavy objects like a 60 lbs. canon ball or the fusion of dissimilar materials such as wood and iron. The list goes on. Hutchison reported the heating of metals without a burning source and spontaneous fracturing of metals. The fusion of dissimilar materials in particular is very baffling as it was shown that these materials can “come together” but individually they do not dissolve. In other words, a wooden block could sink into a metal bar but doesn’t become one with it. And I suggest you let this sink into your mind buddy. If you think that’s the only mindblowing rarity I can come up with, just watch what I let slip out of my sleeve now. I’m talking about spontaneous human combustion.

BadAss
BadAss
Charioteer

Jul-13-2007 20:16

Spontaneous human combustion eh? Oh c’mon, gimme a break now. Well, Allan, let’s see what the simple facts tell us shall we? There is the very appalling case of a Mary Reeser from St.-Petersburg, Florida who was found dead in her apartment in July 1951. Her landlady was the first to ring the alarm bell as she felt that the doorknob to her apartment felt uncomfortably warm. The remains of Mary Reeser consisted mostly of ashes except for a part of her left foot that was still wearing a slipper. The chair she was sitting on was also cindered and plastic objects in her immediate vicinity lost their shape and were softened. The most intriguing evidence that was left was her skull that survived the fire but was shrunk to the size of an orange. The fact that her body had been totally cremated would imply that very high temperatures must have been at work but that’s a contradiction with the state of her apartment. The case was eventually classified by the FBI with the conclusion that she used sleeping pills and must have fallen asleep while smoking a cigarette. How convenient though that the rest of the apartment didn’t burn out, eh Allan? And do you think that explains the shrunken skull? An equally symmetrically shrunken skull? To the size of an orange??? And she’s not the only case you know. I say we have a situation here with which Ockam’s razor has a hard time to shred it into pieces. Allan felt his initial irritation coming back. So, you’re supposed to be a genie? Gene never seems to loose his calm which also largely contributed to Allan’s anxiety. Well, you’ll find out after you gave me your three wishes. I see you still didn’t sign that form. Right, actually I think it’s absurd to come up with such a formality considering you claim to possess such great powers. You really are a piece of work you know that Allan? Most people are just happy with the chance that they see three of their wishes come out but you just keep picking on all those details.

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