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biggie528
biggie528
Lucky Stiff

Aug-23-2006 22:01

I have created a sleuth miracle!

IT IS THE UNHIJACKABLE THREAD!

Go ahead and try, but this thread is about anything and nothing, all at the the same time!

This is the place where Al can talk about world domination, Crunch can worship David Hasselhoff, SS can try and find even more complicated questions for his pub quizzes, Nikkie can advertise for Tim Tams, cfm can troll for more Sharpie victims, JR can beg for the chance to win Bobo back, and bedazzling can be a way of life!

So go off, rant and rave, talk about anything, i don't care, I just wanted to see my avatar on the page (when its actually me anyways)

So go ahead, I dare you all to try and hijack me :)

Replies

Secret_Squirrel
Secret_Squirrel
Safety Officer

Dec-22-2009 03:18

[cant count 4/5 actually]

Santa stumbled towards the door as he hastily tried to pull his Santa Suit on over the clown shoes he still wore. Kicking the offending footwear across the workshop he spied his Santa Boots in the corner. Comet meowed behind him loudly, almost urgently, but Santa was in a hurry. SQUELCH. Santa pulled his foot out of his Santa Boot very tentatively. Flashback 3. The pile of unpeeled turnips that Jack had supplied the reindeer, the 'special' purple potato pancakes the Dalai Lama had tossed them all night, the alchohol, the flying... RUDOLPH!

Santa looked down at whatever it was that covered his foot and felt himself turn green.

Tossing the boot across the room he ran out into the courtyard, and tried to clean his foot as best he could by dragging it in the snow as he made his way to the Cottage - a Christmas Quasimodo, if you like.

He slowed as he reached the back door to the kitchen, taking a few moments to fumble with his buttons; to try and compose himself, his head whirring like a spinning top trying to come up with a reasonable scenario that he could pass off to his wife.

'Mary...', he said gently, opening the door just a crack. No answer. Santa pushed the door fully open and stepped inside to the blessed warmth of the kitchen. The empty kitchen.

'Mary?' he said - not bravely - just a little more loudly. Silence. He spied his Santa hat hanging limply from the old rusted candelabra on the mantelpiece and hopped over to fetch it - knowing the wet squishy feeling between his toes meant his foot wasn't free of the evil mess of reindeer vomit.

There was a note inside the hat.

Secret_Squirrel
Secret_Squirrel
Safety Officer

Dec-22-2009 03:21

Santa made his way over to the kitchen table and slumped into a chair. He reached for a slice of rye toast by habit, but then thought better of eating anything and set it back. He realised, guiltily, that Mary had laid out quite a banquet ready for his return. She'd even brought out the year old Christmas cake that Brittany had sent Santa last year. Mary had said that just like that 'poor, poor, girl' the cake had needed time to dry out. Santa smiled at his wife's little joke.

His smile didn't last as he read the note. It was from Mary.

Mrs Claus had gone to stay with her sister for a few days. There was no need to make contact. Santa, she stated plainly, had a LOT of cleaning up to do, some young ladies to escort home, a reindeer or three to tend to, and at least half a dozen polar bears to apologise to. Santa winced again, wondering what he'd done to the local polar bear population last night.

Mary went on to explain, that she had harnessed Rebecca, Sarah, Jacob and Amos to the B-Sled, and would bring them back in due course.

'Typical', Santa thought, ruefully, catching a glimpse through a frosty window, of a dozen or more elves dragging a snoring Rudolph by the tail across the courtyard towards the stables.

If he'd used the Amish reindeer none of this would have happened in the first place.

END

Joseph Zeo
Joseph Zeo
Tale Spinner

Dec-22-2009 04:11

Hilarious!! Love your entry. Too bad it was way past the limit, but thank you for posting it so that we can all enjoy the wonderful tale (^^)

Anais Nin
Anais Nin
Thespian

Dec-22-2009 21:50

That is hilarious, SS. Thanks for posting it! :)

Joseph Zeo
Joseph Zeo
Tale Spinner

Jan-23-2010 09:50

I actually have nothing to say at the moment, but i though this thread deserves to be on page 1.

bmp

Cordelia Falco
Cordelia Falco
Battered Shoe

Jan-25-2010 01:04

I agree. I have nothing much to say at the moment either, except that prior to this weekend I hadn't realised they had blizzards in Istanbul.

Anikka
Anikka
Babelfish

Jan-25-2010 10:43

Remember folks, she's talking about Istanbul... Not Constantinople.

*flees*

Cordelia Falco
Cordelia Falco
Battered Shoe

Jan-25-2010 23:30

*howls in anguish*

I've been trying to get that song out of my head for three days!

yoyofoshow
yoyofoshow
Old Shoe

Jan-28-2010 07:18

The best place I could find to make my return.

*sassy intro*

I'm back! (ish)

Jesse Hunter
Jesse Hunter
Bibliophile

Jan-28-2010 10:08

Welcome back(ish)!

Decided against a grand reentrance on the Kevin Bacon thread, did you?

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