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biggie528
biggie528
Lucky Stiff

Aug-23-2006 22:01

I have created a sleuth miracle!

IT IS THE UNHIJACKABLE THREAD!

Go ahead and try, but this thread is about anything and nothing, all at the the same time!

This is the place where Al can talk about world domination, Crunch can worship David Hasselhoff, SS can try and find even more complicated questions for his pub quizzes, Nikkie can advertise for Tim Tams, cfm can troll for more Sharpie victims, JR can beg for the chance to win Bobo back, and bedazzling can be a way of life!

So go off, rant and rave, talk about anything, i don't care, I just wanted to see my avatar on the page (when its actually me anyways)

So go ahead, I dare you all to try and hijack me :)

Replies

biggie528
biggie528
Lucky Stiff

Apr-27-2007 07:09

ohh Squizzel, are you the pot or the kettle in this little scenario? ;)

Ms Helen
Ms Helen
Con Artist

Apr-27-2007 12:13

Neither, he's just managed to wrestle his fingers back from Becky :)

Fiddler's Green
Fiddler's Green

Apr-29-2007 10:54

Becky? ----do tell (fiddler sits all agog with anticipation)

Fiddler's Green
Fiddler's Green

Apr-29-2007 10:58

And for God's sake you two - NICORETTES!

Lady Jas
Lady Jas
The Chosen One

Apr-29-2007 11:02

LOL...Fidd you dont know about Becky???

heheheheehehehe ;)

AndreaX
AndreaX
Thespian

Apr-29-2007 14:57

*giggles like a silly school girl*

Becky is classic!

biggie528
biggie528
Lucky Stiff

Apr-29-2007 22:13

Quitters never win Fiddler, remember that

What ho!


crunchpatty
crunchpatty
Old Shoe

May-12-2007 00:59

What ho!

'Tales from the Genepool' (vol.I)

Okay so a few years ago my maternal grandmother needed to be moved into some kind of assisted living situation. This is an entirely valid storyline in itself (like, for example the fact that my cousin spent three hours over there trying to get her to keep her clothes on earlier tonight), but not really the point just now.

The point just now is that this place doesn't allow pets. And she had her some cats, boy. Did she ever have some cats. Not regular cats, either. Those really fluffy inbred ones that get all the starring rolls in the toilet paper commercials can't even meow properly and have really flat little faces. So flat in fact, that there was a time when one of her cats got hit by a car, or a bottle of sherry or something and lost control of it's bowels (briefly, this'll be a recurring theme in this yarn) and I swear to GOD when it dipped it's mushy little face into it's dish of gibletty Fancy Feast, you could NOT tell which end was which.

But I digress. That was a weird Christmas.

So anyways something needed to be done with these cats when she moved. For flava, I need to say that she considers herself an expert on things Medieval, and names her cats in that theme. Which means my consciousness has been plagued by a series of ill-fated blue persians named things like Percival (Percy), Sir Dinidan (Danny) Lancelot (Lance) and Brandy (that was probably just what she was drinking when she bought it, I have no idea).

But I digress.

So one of these cats was put to sleep. Sad, yes. Not as sad as the fact that all her kids LIE to her about it and say that Danny is in fact alive and well and frolicking in my parents' backyard, but a real SPCA tearjerker. The other cat has been living with my uncle, and has now ALSO lost control of it's bowels. The vet (who I swear to god used to be a soundcheck guy for Earth, Wind and Fire) has diagnosed him with the really lovely sounding condition 'anal leakage'.

This is a problem

crunchpatty
crunchpatty
Old Shoe

May-12-2007 01:06

(limit)

...for my uncle (who is really another volume all on his own), because apparently Sir Squirty (or whatever this one is called) sleeps on his bed.

Does he close his bedroom door when he's out, thus preventing Dirty Pants the inbred gravymaker from hopping on and sharting out his rage?

NO!

His solution is to get a freakin' shower curtain (a NEW one, he actually BOUGHT one for this) and lay it over the bed. Then, when he comes home and goes to sleep, he ROLLS the shower curtain back like it was some kind of hellspawn bedspread and he was the world's unluckiest chamberaid and gets his snooze on like there was nothing wrong!

*exhales*

Thank you for your patience.

Secret_Squirrel
Secret_Squirrel
Safety Officer

May-12-2007 03:02

ah dear, rofl.

And this kids is why Canada isn't all it's cracked up to be...

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