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biggie528
biggie528
Lucky Stiff

Aug-23-2006 22:01

I have created a sleuth miracle!

IT IS THE UNHIJACKABLE THREAD!

Go ahead and try, but this thread is about anything and nothing, all at the the same time!

This is the place where Al can talk about world domination, Crunch can worship David Hasselhoff, SS can try and find even more complicated questions for his pub quizzes, Nikkie can advertise for Tim Tams, cfm can troll for more Sharpie victims, JR can beg for the chance to win Bobo back, and bedazzling can be a way of life!

So go off, rant and rave, talk about anything, i don't care, I just wanted to see my avatar on the page (when its actually me anyways)

So go ahead, I dare you all to try and hijack me :)

Replies

biggie528
biggie528
Lucky Stiff

Jan-19-2007 15:03

LOL

Adam Carter
Adam Carter
Big Winner

Jan-19-2007 15:08

"Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute before until he's behind bars. Now, let's grab a bite to eat."

crunchpatty
crunchpatty
Old Shoe

Jan-19-2007 15:17

http://www.moviesoundscentral.com/sounds/naked_gun/beaver.wav

Fiddler's Green
Fiddler's Green

Jan-19-2007 18:26

Cigarette?

crunchpatty
crunchpatty
Old Shoe

Jan-19-2007 21:35

*scared of smoking beavers*

Ms Helen
Ms Helen
Con Artist

Jan-20-2007 02:28

Priscilla Presley indeed

LMAO

Arabella Parker
Arabella Parker
Well-Connected

Jan-20-2007 11:48

I am cleaning out my documents folder and found this:

It's spring and I have just been through the annual pilgrimage of torture and humiliation known as buying a bathing costume.

When I was a child in the 1950s the bathing costume for a woman with a mature figure was designed for a woman with a mature figure -- boned, trussed and reinforced, not so much sewn as engineered. They were built to hold back and uplift and they did a good job.

Today's stretch fabrics are designed for the prepubescent girl with a figure chipped from marble.
The mature woman has a choice -- she can either front up at the maternity department and try on a floral costume with a skirt, coming away looking like a hippopotamus escaped from Disney's Fantasia, or she can wander around every run of the mill department store trying to make a sensible choice from what amounts to a designer range of fluorescent rubber bands.

What choice did I have? I wandered around, made my sensible choice and entered the chamber of horrors known as the fitting room. The first thing I noticed was the extraordinary tensile strength of the stretch material. The Lycra used in bathing costumes was developed, I believe, by NASA to launch small rockets from a slingshot, which give the added bonus that if you manage to actually lever yourself into one, you are protected from shark attacks. The reason for this is that a shark taking a swipe at your passing midriff would immediately suffer whiplash.

I fought my way into the bathing costume, but as I twanged the shoulder strap into place I gasped in horror -- my bosom had disappeared. Eventually I found one bosom cowering under my left armpit. It took a while to find the other. At last I located it flattened beside my seventh rib.

The problem is that modern bathing suits have no bra cups. The mature woman is meant to wear her bosom spread across the chest like a speed bump. I realigned my speed bump and lurched toward the mirror to take a full view assessment.


Arabella Parker
Arabella Parker
Well-Connected

Jan-20-2007 11:48

The bathing suit fit all right, but unfortunately it only fit those bits of me willing to stay inside it. The rest of me oozed out rebelliously from top, bottom and sides. I looked like a lump of play dough wearing undersize cling wrap.

As I tried to work out where all those extra bits come from, the pre-pubescent salesgirl popped her head through the curtains "Oh, there YOU are!" she said, admiring the bathing suit. I replied that I wasn't so sure this suit would work and asked what else she had to show me.

I tried on a cream crinkled one that made me look like a lump of masking tape, and a floral two piece which gave the appearance of an oversize napkin in a serviette ring. I struggled into leopard skin pieces with a ragged frill and came out looking like Tarzan's Jane on a bad day. I tried a black number with a midriff and looked like a jellyfish in mourning. I tried on a bright pink pair with such a highcut leg I thought I would have to wax my eyebrows to wear them. Finally I found a costume that fitted. A two piece affair with shorts-style bottoms and a halter top. It was cheap, comfortable and bulge-friendly, so I bought it.

When I got home I read the label which said "Material may become transparent in water," but I'm determined to wear it anyway.



biggie528
biggie528
Lucky Stiff

Jan-20-2007 11:52

*dies laughing*

I LOVE IT!!!!

AndreaX
AndreaX
Thespian

Jan-21-2007 13:28

Crunchputty: a couple of pages ago, he mentioned a snow storm during which he was forced to wear leggings. Who'd 've thunk it..but he was actually ahead of this time! Listen to this:

"Milan - Now I know there are many out there who will think I have lost it when I write that a key, new must-have for men this coming fall will be a pair of leggings to be worn outside, not just in, the house, but that was the big message at the debut Marni men's runway show this morning in Milan.

Leggings made of microfiber cotton and wool, shown in violet, forest green and Milan fog gray, all of them with stirrup straps, except of course for a couple of them cut above the knee, accompanied half the looks in this poetic, polished and unexpected collection."

We all knew it and now the world knows it too: the man is a revolutionary!

For full article, see: http://news.yahoo.com/s/fwd/20070117/en_fashion_fwd/marnileggingsarethenewmusthave_1



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