Sleuth Home - Message Boards - The Gumshoe Lounge

Aug-23-2006 22:01

I have created a sleuth miracle!

IT IS THE UNHIJACKABLE THREAD!

Go ahead and try, but this thread is about anything and nothing, all at the the same time!

This is the place where Al can talk about world domination, Crunch can worship David Hasselhoff, SS can try and find even more complicated questions for his pub quizzes, Nikkie can advertise for Tim Tams, cfm can troll for more Sharpie victims, JR can beg for the chance to win Bobo back, and bedazzling can be a way of life!

So go off, rant and rave, talk about anything, i don't care, I just wanted to see my avatar on the page (when its actually me anyways)

So go ahead, I dare you all to try and hijack me :)

Jan-19-2007 11:04

anytime dear :)

Jan-19-2007 13:45

*slaps a Priscilla Presley face mask on Ms. Helen, wraps HER in a full body condom and kicks her in Adam's general direction*

Let's see some physical expressions of all this gratitude, huh?

Jan-19-2007 14:01

"Nice beaver."


"Thanks. I've just had it stuffed."

Jan-19-2007 15:03

LOL

Jan-19-2007 15:08

"Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute before until he's behind bars. Now, let's grab a bite to eat."

Jan-19-2007 15:17

http://www.moviesoundscentral.com/sounds/naked_gun/beaver.wav

Jan-19-2007 18:26

Cigarette?

Jan-19-2007 21:35

*scared of smoking beavers*

Jan-20-2007 02:28

Priscilla Presley indeed

LMAO

Jan-20-2007 11:48

I am cleaning out my documents folder and found this:

It's spring and I have just been through the annual pilgrimage of torture and humiliation known as buying a bathing costume.

When I was a child in the 1950s the bathing costume for a woman with a mature figure was designed for a woman with a mature figure -- boned, trussed and reinforced, not so much sewn as engineered. They were built to hold back and uplift and they did a good job.

Today's stretch fabrics are designed for the prepubescent girl with a figure chipped from marble.
The mature woman has a choice -- she can either front up at the maternity department and try on a floral costume with a skirt, coming away looking like a hippopotamus escaped from Disney's Fantasia, or she can wander around every run of the mill department store trying to make a sensible choice from what amounts to a designer range of fluorescent rubber bands.

What choice did I have? I wandered around, made my sensible choice and entered the chamber of horrors known as the fitting room. The first thing I noticed was the extraordinary tensile strength of the stretch material. The Lycra used in bathing costumes was developed, I believe, by NASA to launch small rockets from a slingshot, which give the added bonus that if you manage to actually lever yourself into one, you are protected from shark attacks. The reason for this is that a shark taking a swipe at your passing midriff would immediately suffer whiplash.

I fought my way into the bathing costume, but as I twanged the shoulder strap into place I gasped in horror -- my bosom had disappeared. Eventually I found one bosom cowering under my left armpit. It took a while to find the other. At last I located it flattened beside my seventh rib.

The problem is that modern bathing suits have no bra cups. The mature woman is meant to wear her bosom spread across the chest like a speed bump. I realigned my speed bump and lurched toward the mirror to take a full view assessment.